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Shattered Heaven Ep. 2

rated 3.93 / 5 stars
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Credits & Info

Jan 1, 2014 | 1:06 PM EST

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Author Comments

1/6 Edit:

Wow, featured, thanks so much. In listening to this, I'm hearing more peaking, so I think I'll upload a fixed version when I get home from work.

Also, thank you for the comments and suggestions on how to improve. I may not reply to them all, but I take all of them to heart, even ones that focus on negative aspects. It's the only way to improve going forward.

Was originally released yesterday, ended up having to balance some audio levels from the Youtube version.

Episode 2 "Measuring Up"

When Adam Novus finds out that his soldier brother, Stephen has accepted a match with his direct superior in the Alliance, he is thrilled. But memories of his loss to Stephen months prior begin to chip away at his confidence.


Adam Novus: Adam Tilford

Stephen Novus: Greg Nugent

Amy Caecus: Kira Buckland

Mike Aquilus: Carlos Moreno

Christina Efflorenso: Michelle Deco

Sean Repens: Brian Gilbert

Jen Fama: Jasmine Carbonell

Grace Cooper: Corinne S.

Nathan Gelidus: Austin Lee Matthews

Caleb Prodito: Matt Shipman

Harold Caecus: Kamran Nikhad


Heidi Tabing

Travis Mullenix

Brandon Wright

Music by Projecttrinity

Ending theme "Broken Machine"

Performed by Amanda Lee

Composed and written by Luke Thomas

Purchase the full song here -

Follow the series:

Twitter -

First novel available on Kindle -



Rated 4 / 5 stars

I can see the improvement since the previous episode. Personally, the obvious gundam influence is appealing to me, but I do get tired of the stock gundam sounds. You might want to try altering them a bit to make them more unique sounding. Also, the stronger voice actors really shined in this episode, but as a result it makes the weaker ones stick out more. I feel like this will only get better over time though. One thing that bothers me a little are the mech designs. They are a little bland color wise and they don't feel different enough from each other except for minor color details, like if more than 2 characters where battling on screen, I wouldn't be able to really tell them apart.

All and all, I can tell you put a lot of effort into this episode and it shows. This has the potential to be a great series. I look forward to seeing what happens next!

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nikedrummer33 responds:

Actually, gundam wasn't an influence on this story, at all. I didn't get introduced to Gundam until well after my third book for this series was done. Which was when I wanted to try animating. Then Gundam became an influence/way to learn how to animate/draw mecha. Not spoiling anything, but these "Standard" mecha are just early on stuff. Going to be honest, I didn't have concepts for the "VR" ones. I have all concept art for the mechs used in the main plot of the story so that should become more apparent. The first 2 episodes were basically just an experiment for me to get used to my limited time schedule and animation. Ep 3 and up starts the main plot. Not an excuse for 1 and 2 to be more slice of life, unimportant, but there was a reason for that in the overall structure of the story. It's just hard to see now when there's like a 3-4 month wait time between each episode.

A lot of the bland colors, I admit are a corner cutting thing for me. I don't have a lot of time to work on this, it's a passion project that I do after a 40 hour work week and while trying to balance editing and revising my professional status as a published author. So I choose what things are easy for me to reproduce as I get things going early on. My goal is as it expands I can get other people I trust to help out and relieve the burden, thus increasing the quality. Since right now the quality is dependent on what I can do comfortably in a short time period while remaining on a somewhat consistent release schedule. I could animate much better and have more detail, but I chose to not want a single episode to take about a year just to look higher end. If I can get a staff, then I'll shoot for that. But for now, as a passion side project, I have to do what I can with the time I have it :)

And I agree on the sound effects. I'm already trying to work something out with some people I know that are better at sound design than I am.

I'm glad you can see the improvements, but there's still a lot more to improve on. Hopefully more progress will be made with each installment.


Rated 5 / 5 stars

I'm so looking forward to the next episode!!!!!!


Rated 2 / 5 stars

First and foremost Id like to congradulate you on a second episode. It takes alot of time to make one of theses, and requires a good amount of dedication, this being an indie title and all.
Its nice to see that you've taken come of the criticize to heart and have used it to improve the quality of this episode from its predecessor. That being said there are still glaring issues.

Shattered Heaven Ep.2 is a mixed bag of oddities that seems to not know what it is entirely doing currently suffering from an identity at points.
For one the script seems very odd. Its not Bad but it doesnt seem to set up much of anything, while sounding very unoriginal. As a person that has watched/played multiple counts of the mech-genre, from Evangelion to SuperSentai to IGPX to Armored Core to Front Mission to Baldr and so on. Cliche easily describes some of the dialog here, somethings seem to be outright/subconsciously stolen strait from The Gundam franchise to be exact. Although that might not be the case, Gundam does seem to have the biggest hand in this episode. Character's screaming out one-liners like "Your over rated Novis" and "Dont waist my time with juvenile tricks" has Gundam plastered all over it, and they feel out of place. Even the girl's motive sounds like it was taken from Gundam Seed There are times when the conversation feels organic like the conversation of Amy's father talking to that other blonde hair dude, and other times when the conversation is just weird and off putting like "You should listen to the GIRL" or "Infatuated with Money" These moments make it seem like the episode is taking itself way too serious than its supposed to. Also we still have yet to know what all the names of the basic cast are and their basic relations to anyone else. Adam, Novs, Amy, and Amy's Dad are all the names we know; and aside from Amy's connection to her father that is the only connections we have. Who is Novis to Adam, who is Adam to Amy, What is the connection to that guy with the glasses to Amy or to anyone given his "girl" line.
From the Dialog comes the story and still the story doesn't seem to go anywhere yet. VR fights at random, Iraq explostions, and people talking about the realworld. Is what they're living in now fake, like the matrix, Is it shelterd, do they live in a bunker, Or are they just talking about being a civilian? Nothing about what they say consering the real world gives us idea or hint about whats going on with these people watching from the glass. Alot of the story is hard to flow between the characters and setting nothing seem set yet or estabilised. We the viewers still need a stage and not one given from the lenthy prolog monolog in episode 1. Even if its a slice of life sort of thing its not setup for us to understand its a slice of life. There are no tells, like for example the Iconic the event of waking up in the morning, things that we can relate to enough before we can comfortably jump into their life, there world. Starting at the event of somthing never says slice of life unless he's late for a job, or school. Especially when youve got that in the the shadows turn around character at twelve seconds.
Next is the Visual presentation, wich id have to say is is par at best. Its not bad, but its lacking and needs alot of refinement. My main issuse is the way the characters move, the defforming in Mechs, the odd framing, and the bad screen cuts. Much of what is shown is is poorly planed out, and unclear. This episode fixes some of the problems of the first episode visualually but still has some those distict short comings from the previous episode and adds some problems from poor impimenttation, as well as pop-ins and leftovers from a sketch stage, the best example is the green lines on those cube things at four eleven, I was surprised to see rough draft effects in a finished product. Also there is no clarty in the mech battles which is the by far the worst part of animation. Things just happen and its very unfocused as it shows the limits of your capablities, or obvious short cuts your trying to take, like omitting the animation for a mech geting up with a screen cut, Showing confusing green and red "lights" with barley any clarity, and characters flipping; the mech travels one way and the person is faceing the other way best example of this is at four twentyfive. Some shots even seem to be just there for the sake of chaning shots in both in and out of mech battles. There even times when a transition is needed for next shot and is sorely missing, they just pop out like the fathers reflection or popin like the ending. There is the missuse of the blur on a chair someone is siting on, or the jaring effect of moving posters in backgrounds and still people. The Environment backgrounds are sorely missing perspective, mostly everyone is shot from direct front or direct side with them standing at a slight angle, facing an angle or directly strait with with the camera most often zoomed in on their faces, or above waist. Environments still dont show relation to anything else in the the room, it just seems you manged to pack more stuff in and made it easier to see, like th cockpit area that just looks like a warehouse. Lines on thing that should be strait are oddly curved like the bride. I think you should really look at manga/comics to help with your storyboard. You need to look up and learn the rules and of animation to add to your what you have now, because its is needed, especially for your mech fights.
Last is sound, the worst of this Episode. Characters seem dead, or odd. Adam being the oddest. With his animation not matching the lackluster "slaughter", or the expressions he says sounds dead. The black guy at the end of the episode sounds comically angry, and over all gives the impression that there is no voice direction for this production. Via voice and wording alone characters just seem to meld together, one character could just as easily be seen saying someone elses lines because there delivery in isn't all that great. Added with non existent music at some-parts where you can barely hear it in the background, Sound effects missing for swinging a sword, grinding on dirt, flying around, streaming etc. Odd electrical pop-ins at the wrong time, low to nonexistent splash, clipping and other missing effects to immerse your viewer. The sound needs to be handled.
I Actually had to watch this twice to get a sense of what is going on and I've even had to pause the video to see the point of the Iraq thing and the picture that cut out of her mother.
All in all i think you need to plan out your shots and animation better via your storyboard. Check your audio and all the effects. Redo your dialog, to be natural and effective don't get too caught up in trying to be linguistic, cause it will come off as jarring, make relevant banter not generic one liners.
Why boxes for bullets why not just bullets or missiles? There is a lot more to say but my brain feels fried. Don't get discouraged, keep going.
Congrats again on Episode 2

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Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Another awesome series I need to follow! Thats a vast cast, some of the voice acts feel a bit imbalanced, but as far as the story goes, it's interesting. I first I thought the battles were real, but then I guess they're just simulations. So, is it a slice of life series with training the main part, or are things soon about to spiral out of control? Looking forward to the continuation!


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nikedrummer33 responds:

Glad you enjoyed it. It's only "slice of life" early on. Pretty much only the first 2 episodes then it shifts focus elsewhere. This year, with the scheduled episodes to be produced, it's going to be a dramatic one.


Rated 5 / 5 stars

worth the wait