Good
Author Comments
Well. Here it is. Pokemon Darkness episode 3. I'm very proud of this one. Not because of the quality of animation. But because the story of it. I keep thinking of lots of possibilities for the future of the series. It makes me excited. This time around I was thorough on the spell check.
Like usual give me constructive criticism, I want to improve myself on what I do.
Enjoy.
this is really well done. keep up the good work
Nothing extraordinary and ground-breaking, but still enjoyable nonetheless. You deserve the 5 stars for the effort and managing to manipulate the sprites, maps, and music that well. The story isn't bad and is a pleasant casual watch. You have my support while under judgement!
Hey man, congrats on the release of your 3rd episode. The animation and over all design has gotten a lot smoother than last time. Good job integrating elements from newer games like the houses as well. The customs were pretty convincing as far as those go for now.
But this wouldn't be a review if I didn't give you some feedback. I felt like you cleaned up the grammar well, but there is a certain energy missing in the text that had to do with improper punctuation. When he nurse says "Wait." it comes across as very passive because of the period. Adding an exclamation mark might help with that energy and make more sense. I also felt like this could have been done with Anna's dialog more, being that she seems like an energetic spontaneous person. The dialog made her seem a bit passive as well and makes it seem like there isn't much of a reason for her to show Andrew around without an active voice.
Towards the end, a bit of reasoning seemed to be missing as well. Anna's choice to go with him seemed a bit forced and not as organic as it could be. We don't know much about her either (Is she a student, a young teacher?) So why would she abandon her studies/ work to go with him on a whim? Yeah she wants to see the country, but I feel like there has to be more connective tissue there to go with someone she just met an hour ago. Giving her some kind of back story, or more information might help to solve this problem.
Lastly, I felt like more or the overlying plot with the antagonists could be revealed more, to give your audience something to hold onto. Just some insight to what they are planning would be enough. Currently the revelations might be too slow paced.
Summary of my review: More active language/ use of punctuation (exclamation marks instead of periods at times) Give Anna more of a back story, and reasoning for joining as a deuteragonist. Lastly give the viewer more insight to the over all plot (Even what the country is like might help to explain this.
Anyway keep up the good work. Much better than your previous episodes.
_esty