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rated 4.05 / 5 stars
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Credits & Info

Oct 8, 2012 | 6:52 PM EDT

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Author Comments

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This is a 3D animated short film prologue I spent 9 months working on, it was made in Autodesk Maya and rendered using Pixar's Renderman. The film is about a mysterious character who explores the dark depths of a giant abandoned facility. The purpose of this instalment is to create an atmosphere and establish the environment. It acts as a prologue to a whole series of upcoming shorts films about the character's journey through the facility; this is just the first phase of the story.



Rated 5 / 5 stars

dis es gewd :3


Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

I think it was pretty good but through some of the comments ive seen there are quite a few flaws which i would not of noticed as im not an animator but it kinda reminded me of Dead Space which was pretty cool. Wil be looking around for "phase 2" if it happens and good luck.


Rated 1 / 5 stars

1 : the character
His/her bones seem to be out of place.
The run animation has way to little weight to it. It makes me think of the doom marine.
Holding a weapon seems to be a weird concept for him/her. Its being held like a dinner plate.
I could only see it was a weapon after the lift closeup.

2 : the level / environment
Were is the bridge suspended on (except for the 6 cables on the beginning)?
The flat graphics is something I don't mind, that was your choice.
Things like the computer screens could have some animation when the person is pressing the buttons.

Overall this makes me thing of mindjack.
There is no weight to anything and it looks so dull.
Try better next time, you'll get it right.


Rated 3 / 5 stars

I have to agree with what was said before,
Character model
The position of the gun

I didn't mind the texture so much, I liked the smoothed out feel, made it feel futuristic, which is what i think you were trying to achieve. I think if you could make it more metallic than plastic though, it would work even better. Titanium or some such metal. Sounds, yeah there needs to be better sounds to create a bigger sense of space. Simple plot, guy explores a facility then we get the conflict where the possible antagonist is introduced and from there we can extrapolate that this will either be horror or suspense. I don't mind the small visor, it's your world, you can make your characters however you want, just make sure there's a reason for it. Why does your character have that helmet? Is it standard issue? Was it designed by top military weapons & armor contractors for maximum protection? I'd suggest adding a HUD on the inside rather than the simple cut out of the visor for the 1st person view.

I definitely think this deserves nothing less than a 3 star. You put effort into it, a lot more effort than I could or many of us, I'm sure of that. This is an average quality piece, so it deserves an average rating, not that that is a bad thing though. You're almost there, you can make it better. Bring his gun closer to his chest and more to his right arm, make it slouch at times so it feels like there's weight to it. Adjust the run so it's not a knee-high march, watch videos of soldiers running to get a better feel. I like this and feel like it could be so much better.

Also, fix his butt, he's got a "U" for a crotch and no butt cheeks, plus there's a crease horizontally across his bottom and it's rather distracting. It's all I could think about through most of the film.


Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Let me first start off by saying well done, though I gave you a low score it is not without merit to the effort put in. I also want to point out I have a BFA in animation and graduated from SCAD.I agree with most of the points DamonandSky has pointed out but I will go a little further into explaining some ways to improve this.
First the environment is impressive and does give a feeling of a huge environment, but what it lacks is texture and proper backgrounds to break up the simple grey. Adding a little color is good to but another good idea is to use lights and sound in the open areas. I get that it is big but I don't know what it is. For example the Dead Space games if you mute the sound or close your eyes you can still get a feeling for the environment.
Second your character is I like the idea of the visor and its very Space Odyssey tech but it is too limiting to see and feels boring. Also I recommend looking up modeling tutorials because your characters hips are too square and don't have the proper spacing and vertexes. And a huge thing is his running is too uniform and too quick to stop. Nobody, even in Sci-Fi can run like that, unless they are a robot which he/she doesn't show the characteristics of. Also when animating put the feeling of the character in the run if he/she needs to get there with a sense of urgency show them running maybe tripping once or twice, and when they get to the elevator make sure they do the skip stop and not just stop abruptly. Also the way the gun is held, it is impossible to run hold a gun like that, too heavy.
Third the fadeouts should only be used in the case of an environment change. To many breaks up the story and the scene.
This that bad honestly I think you should take the advice given and go back and improve what you have. Great job fellow animator this is a "work in progress" and I can't wait to see more.