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Messed-Up Bible Stories11

rated 4.35 / 5 stars
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Comedy - Original

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Credits & Info

Oct 2, 2012 | 2:19 PM EDT

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Author Comments

God tells Abraham to start chopping wieners.

Help create Season 2 of Unbelievably Messed-Up Bible Stories!




Rated 5 / 5 stars

It's not hard to make plot holes and funny observations about fairy tails, but you hit the nail on the head. These videos are always hilarious and well made, and are some of the best flashes on Newgrounds.

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Rated 5 / 5 stars

What can I say? When I studied this with a conservative Christian, the girls in the group and I were chuckling at the image of poor Ishmael, voice cracking, scared out of his mind; servants tendering their resignations, and Abraham having to have a little wine or beer, before doing himself, afraid to have too much, in case he accidentally cut off too much. The conservative Christian was mad.
Compare that with studying it with a Rabbi, and he appreciated that there was humor to be drawn from it, because God loves it when we find joy and humor in life. Take that spin on it, and the Bible thumpers lose their thunder to condemn others for not also having a stick up their...
In that way, your videos are not blasphemous, just because they take scripture with an open mind and heart, ready for inspiration and to find the absurdity in ourselves and the things we hold dear. All these portrayals of the biblical stories are so pretentious, that it's like Mozart said in "Amadeus," paraphrasing: the people are so choked with classical material that they s**t marble. You can't ever let a story get to be so serious that anyone who sees it their own way is marginal, or worse, condemned as wicked.
This series is getting better and better, and does a great job at not saying "don't believe in the Bible's teachings" but just saying "take the Bible's teachings 'with a pinch of salt'." It wasn't written for us, but for people 2-3000 years ago, not as a series of didactic parables, like the Hellenic mythos, but as the oral tradition and history of a nomadic people. There's a reason why the Apocrypha is considered to offer lessons as well, despite being non-canon.
The lessons of prophets are important, but in Jewish tradition, the Torah is the history of the Jewish people, and the Talmud is the interpretation of Adonai Abba's laws.
People have to take all this, and make it so serious that you can't even imagine it as a serious situation with funny realities. I've seen what people like that laugh at, and it borders on sociopathic.

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Rated 5 / 5 stars

Yeah, I went atheist some time ago. However, the amount of denial christians have concerning the most ridiculous of stories in the bible, is staggering. They rationalize the h3ll out of it. Literally. Or, they just turn it into a lack of faith and understanding on my part. Then they pretend like they understand, and just can't explain. Or, they'll "pray for me". Yeah, when people die, you hope there is some nice kind of after life, and why not? Our very existence now seems like some crazy horse $h*t. What's a bit more piled on.

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Rated 5 / 5 stars

Always Amazing, but one thing, please delete the youtube-like loading bar. It defies Newgrounds's purpose!

Samination responds:

Hur? The loading bar is part of the preloader that we are required to use, as this is a SWF.


Rated 5 / 5 stars

God is cool with that.