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Out of Order 1

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A young girl accidentally ends up in the ruins of a chess-themed city. She is immediately confronted with the hospitality of the remaining denizens but also gains a companion who is as eager as her to escape this place.

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This movie was sort of an unpolished beta-version of the story I'm working on, made in 2012. Don't expect new episodes but rather a reboot!

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Edit: Fun fact: I did everything with a half-dead mouse, just bought a tablet.

Reviews


simon:well he got fucked



Has some potential. story is interesting and i like the animation. Voice acting could use improvement though, not that its horrible.


kmau responds:

We'll work on it!


hirrible voice acting. just the girl... liiked the goons



That girl looks very good looking ;D keep it comin


kmau responds:

chris_hansen.jpg


I'd be happy to see where this goes. I'm a little iffy on some of the minor details, but I am quite interested.

Now for me something was wrong with the general sound. No, I'm not talking about the voice acting, even if it did sound slightly underwater "echo". Just the sound in general. I guess it just either didn't seem to match up, or it felt like there were times were there was too much silence. The issue with the sound is rather hard for me to put my finger on, it just felt off.

Visually it was alright. I think there were some details that could be worked on.

Your narration was somewhat bland. It wasn't bad, but very dry. It needs some more pow or something. Shawshank Redemption, Fight Club, Princess Bride. These movies had narrations that kept things interesting and kept you hooked. I don't see it the problem being the person narrating, but rather how he narrates. As a kid I use to be read to a lot by my relatives and growing up I've enjoyed being a story teller. You need to have the spunk from Bastion, the liveliness of Limitless.

Other than that you got some potential. As I understand from your description you are self-taught and I think that this being your first major flash on Newgrounds is quite a good start. You are heading somewhere with this and I can't wait to see the improvements.

3.5/5.


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kmau responds:

Shame you can't put your finger on the sound issues, every detail helps.
I actually intended for the narration to be dry and Ron Perlman'ish even though I knew this was bound to receive some flak. Something more lively just felt wrong for a dead city covered in dust.
Thank you for sharing your honest thoughts. :)

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Credits & Info

Views
58,481
Faves:
497
Votes
2,292
Score
4.40 / 5.00

Uploaded
Sep 17, 2012
2:16 PM EDT
Genre
Action
Tags
  • Frontpaged September 18, 2012
  • Daily Feature September 19, 2012
  • Weekly 3rd Place September 19, 2012