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Binder Check pt 1

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A Squishables Season 3 Episode. Longest one of the season yet. Somebody got electrocuted in this one without harm. Because they are squishables and they can morph, so no harm was done to them. Man, Lubch (the brown mushroom) is so mean. Wonchop's mouth loop was borrowed, and it belongs to him.


but the reason why any series exists is because there are plenty of things that are too short to cover in a single sitting. if you rush through it, it defeats the whole point of a series. take your time and explore their personalities (refer to 1st part.)

i think the green squishable in the beginning thinking to herself - or himself if he just has the voice of a girl - was a bit too blatant. the computer voice kinda ruined it for me. the way she/he said "binder" the exact same way every time was funny, but not in the way you intended it to be.

it was so silly - her voice - that it'd be something i'd expect in a youtube poop.

the fact you actually misspelled the name of your own series doesn't really help either, and the text in the loading screen seems a bit too cluttered. the animation looked kinda lazy, you relied on the animated stretch effect too much, and you actually used wonchop's mouth loop (if i read your description right).

all that being said, i think you've gone a long way, Nat. if i had written a review like this before we knew each other, i'm sure you probably would've said i was a big stupid, or told me not to say mean stuff or something. though i'm glad you don't do that anymore. that in itself was a huge step up. i hope you consider this review as advice, rather than several paragraphs of discouragement, like i probably would've taken a review like this a few years ago.

so... congratulations i guess.

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mrcontesty responds:

The green squishable is a girl. Sorry about the word "binder". Yes, make a YouTube Poop out of the scene. Thanks for reviewing!

before you read this, let me just say, i'm not writing this to be a jerk, i'm trying to help you, and i sincerely hope you take this advice into consideration.

i'm not going to complain about the art and animation anymore. i realize you already started it, so changing the character designs would be a problem. the problem lays in the writing.

your series is too reliant on things it already did. Mismatch Day, Hawaii Day, Notebook Check, Binder Check, and probably so much more! there are too many episodes that are too short. and nothing distinguishes them. none of them stand out.

but before talking about the writing, let me just say the computerized voices seriously hurt it. don't get me wrong, i'm fine with them, but i recommend the program Speakonia. it's much better and less robotic.

nothing eventful happens in this series. we have an episode about a guy selling pretzels. mm-hmm. no rising/falling action, he's selling his pretzels, one of them had a random guy pop in and ask if it was the bank (which isn't necessarily what i consider a joke)

oh yes, a teacher is checking his student's binders. and these students take tests! those aren't necessarily exciting things.

something tells me this show is based on your school. or at the very least, based on what happens in your school, like the testing, and the binder checks and whatnot. i'm not saying you can't do episodes about those things, but you're missing something key here.

shows centering on school explore the characters' personalities. your show centers on what happens, but without giving the viewer anything interesting. show the audience their personalities.

here are possible ideas you can explore:

who's friends with who? what is a character's biggest fears? what happened in the character's past?

if we know nothing about these Squishables, why should we care about them? reading your description, i'm assuming you want your audience to care about your characters. which is probably why you make sure we know nothing bad happened to them. but why should we sympathize if you basically just handed us random characters and had bad stuff happen to them?

oh yeah, a character's past. what i am about to say is specifically about Lubch. Lubch is a pretty vague character. yes, he is a mean teacher. that's it. he is a mean teacher. why is he a mean teacher? did he have an experience that forever altered his life? did he have a bad memory? you surely cannot expect your audience to believe he's just randomly mean.

the humor is also a big problem. a lot of your humor is completely lost on me, probably because it is too light-hearted. and i'm all for light-hearted humor, though, and no offense, i say this with the utmost sympathy and understanding, i'm not sure you understand humor.

your animation to weebl's song about your viewers not having a life was good, but your description tried to tell the viewers that they do have lives. let me just say, i don't think weebl's song made any of your viewers think they had no lives.

off-color/raunchy humor is another subject. you literally distance yourself from all off-color/raunchy humor. you limit yourself to slapstick humor.

yeah, i've done slapstick humor myself, but it's in moderation and there's a reason. like in your Webdings, nobody has any reason to fight. they do it out of spite. out of spite, absolutely no motivation to it. or at least, clear motivation.

if somebody asks you a joke question, then respond with a joke answer. like if someone asks you if you're a robot, of course you're not a robot, but be crafty with it. have fun with it!

anybody who is reading this is probably thinking that i am straying from reviewing the actual piece, but you will find that people often create animations to mirror their lives.

and if not mirror their lives, mirror their personalities. this series is actually a pretty nice mirror of your personality: a person of few words and a person who gets to the point pretty fast.

and i have run out of space! part 2 coming soon.

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mrcontesty responds:

Thanks for the review. In Season 3, I'll try to make the episodes at least 1 minute and 30 seconds or over. I'll try Speakonia. I thought the jokes added to the binder check like one of them being electrocuted would help. Hmm, maybe he needs to be more cruel. I'll be older, and some toons will be like 13+ and stuff. Yes, the show is based on the events in my school. I will try and do an introduction to the characters about them after the First Day episode airs, or rather; on the same file, if I have enough MB to upload it here. There is a toon that shows why Lubch has been mean. I'll try better humor too.

It was a little hard to understand due to the synthetic voice work. The animation wasn't bad, but it still needs a little work. Has some great potential though.

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mrcontesty responds:


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Credits & Info

2.84 / 5.00

Jun 11, 2012
8:37 PM EDT