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marshmallows in a restaurant, three marshmallows are subject to try to attract attention, which of them succeed?
1. fhilip.

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i think it was fine without words lol

this is really good aand funny i like the music and the words it would be funnier if it had voice X)

not bad but voice whould be great!

vacadecasa responds:

I have not recorded voices, if any, would be very useful. Thanks for your comment.

I do not appreciate the low-effort reviews on your other animations. Who the hell am I though the Review Judge?

Anyways, you used a newgrounds prefabricated loader. That's wonderful! It prevents the animation from repeating itself, however since you've used the Stop action in Actionscript before the animation looped all the way you've put an Endless "Thank you for Watching." I recommend leaving a Thank you for watching up about at maximum 6 seconds and then going back to the preloader and adding to the preloaders actionscript


That should prevent the music from looping.

Also why is that white block there behind the pink marshmallow when it moves? Just a nitpick it won't affect the score.

Also you should add shadows to the bases of these marshmallows or other people won't be able to tell the difference between when one is Hopping or simply moving around the plate. I had to look twice to figure this out.

Make sure you use the standard newgrounds loader unless you intend for people to confuse this Animation for a Halloween animation. ( As awesome as the halloween loader is. ) it's simply not that time of year. Though I still like it regardless.

Enough of the technical stuff, on to the Animation itself.

There was no point to this, I'm not going to read to far into it. Though it seemed like a simple animation test is really it's only problem.

Add some more structure to your movies, establish a few base things.

The 5 basic who what when where why
and of course How.

and then ask some very simple questions after watching the animation.

Why does the marshmallow want to die? Can the human even see if they have faces? How did that marshmallow spontaneously combust? How does a pink marshmallow feel love?

Who made these Marshmallows? A Mad Scientist?

Do the Marshmallows hate each other? If so, Why?

Why do they want to die?

Again without anything established the core conflict of the story ( Which is the marshmallows asking for death. ) Then the audience has no way to become invested or even care about what's happening.

Even a simple fight will provide more basis for an animation than such a strange pleasant suicidal tone. At-least at this level of skill in animation.

Try to add more depth to your work, though that's such an obscure thing to say.

I really appreciate you posting this to the Newgrounds Portal and I wish you the best in your endeavours to whatever you may move onto.

I'll be watching! : )

vacadecasa responds:

thanks for the comment, I'll take much into account, the next time put more history on this and I will give to esplicar the reason why you want the marshmallow die?. because the already tired of being a single marshmallow. the pink, although no difference whether a man or woman, he wanted to give emotions to come to an end a little emotional with the death of fhilip, and his last sentence of "damned traitor" or "accursed infidel," not according to esactitud me, I wanted to give a final comic.

Credits & Info

3.87 / 5.00

May 6, 2012
12:29 PM EDT
Comedy - Original