I have reached the point in my life where I appreciate flash artists. God help us all.
january flash flood day 32. loads from newgrounds dump, so you'll be fine.
update 9/2/2015: uploaded as video
update 8/13/2015: thing broke, i don't have the .fla anymore so heres the seperated swf's. ng uploads are acting weird and might load the wrong swf if you open all the links at once or something