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Contemplate Life

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Author Comments

Running time - 5 minutes

Majority of the animation was made December 2011 & January 2012
Made in approximately 100 hours

View more of my films at my website
nahtanojmal.newgrounds.co m


What the heck am I doing on the front page?!



I don't know how many days I have left.
What makes me think I'll even live another hour?
Why even bother living this life only to lose it all.
Chasing after the f****** wind.

I could live to all the good moral standards of my culture
but I'd die just the same as the people with the worst moral standards.
I think I'd be happier being an immoral person, though I know it's a lie.

My heart reeks corruption.
Following my desires I'd never want to work,
never help people,
unless I get something out of it of corse
and just be a blood sucking leech on everyone around me but worse.
Destroying the very things that sustain me.


I don't want to hurt people
but if I don't, I'll hurt myself.
Either way I'm going to cause destruction and death.
So wouldn't it be better for only one person to die than many.

Sure, they'll be sad, but they will find a way to live without me, right?
What am I thinking! they are no different than me!
Then we should all, just, die.



You speek rightly. You do deserve death
You have thought nothing but the evils of your wicked heart since the day of your creation.
You could never be pleasing to God.

But do you think God didn't know that?
You think God made you just to bring you pain?

Know this, you will always have problems in this life
but hear me correctly when I say this statement.

your corruption is your fault.
your corruption is your fault.
Not because you could chose not to be corrupt,
but because you have not given up on yourself.

You run like a mouse on a wheel trying to get away,
no trying to walk on water,
no trying to fly with your arms.
You try and try and try, to do something you can never do.
but you were never meant to.
you need only to seek the one who gives freely.

I know your impatient,
you could be watching tv or doing something to amuse your mind.

But when you realise the truth, that you have nothing,

Look to God, not yourself.
Because He is our only real foundation in this life.
You will go to hell in your own strength.

Please, realise God's love for you,
despite all your corruption
and may His love, change you

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This is very touching. I myself had gone through some pretty stressful times in my life, I pretty much survived and moved on. Viewing this reminded me of surviving those times and I pretty much appreciate my love of God and life itself because of it. Fantastic job dude.

nahtanojmal responds:

Glad to hear it, Thanks :)

kind of a disturbung film but its has a serious message. God created us each and all of us are special and unique we all need eachother.We all have our unique skills, abailities, and talents but if we seek a higher power , be it God or what ever higher power you believe in will show us the way to our true self) Only then can we walk amongst this Earth pecafully with joy. I have went through alot and always wondered why but it is God making me a stronger person everything I have went through has made me stronger and while it felt like an eternity it was over before I knew it and made me the person I am today. A strong happy, fun person that enjoys life)Thx for your submissions to newgrounds I enjoy all of them .

nahtanojmal responds:

Amen, and thanks for your review :)

For what it's worth, despite the old animation, it was something I needed.

Although I lean heavily toward Agnostic, this was an amazing flash and song. Great job! :)

I been watching this every few days for past couple of months. Can relate more to the first half than the second part, nowadays. A young worn torn veteran. Was taking care of my family, lost my career, can't take care of them anymore. Got into my own desires with women, drugs, fighting. Can't even remember what it was I was fighting for. Everyday now if I see a building, I think about jumping, or a lake drowning, or a train standing in front of it. Can't remember the last time I was not sad.
Watching this sometimes is the only reason I think not to end it suddenly, that, and how sad it would make my family and friends. Most of the time I numb myself of what I feel because that is the only way I can coup with what I have become or what I done. You're video is truely inspiring. Not really that hopeful, but this video for some reason gives me a little. Thanks.