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8bit Retro: Quazatron

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Select Kempston joystick in order to control the game with Arrows + Space.

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How the hell do you play this!?

Almost good enough to want to keep

The game itself is a standby of droid-based combat, but the implementation leaves too much to be desired.

I hope you were trying to be ironic by providing almost no information about how to use the game. People today try to provide enough for players to feel confident that they can figure out what they are doing. You don't need to include a 30-page manual or a series of tutorials, but telling us which control groups correspond to which buttons would have been reasonable. Explaining how to properly attack and what the victory conditions are for the interface are not unreasonable requests.

The reason old games could get away without explaining this stuff in-game was they included said 30-page manual. The reason most modern flash games can get away without explaining these things is that they do it in the exact same way as someone else. Unfortunately, you're not quite obvious enough. I would STRONGLY recommend some sort of obvious help system so I can figure out what I am doing, what the objectives are, and how much power my parts have left BEFORE they go critical.

There is some good here; this is a very old, tried-and-true formula game. The problem is you didn't add anything to the formula other than a couple of configuration screens. Points for research, penalty for failing to give context or direction.