The chicken are evil...
Ok, screw this.
stupid, mean people bring demise upon themselves turning weakling into (evil)badass in the process - stupid die, badass lives satisfied with his vengeance, great, timeless story told in minecraftboxychicken way :)
Im almost like Link on Minecraft. I just sneak into other peoples farm, then I just murder their chickens. Then I just beat down the owner, and loot their stuff.