So this is what it's like 10 months before I become a brony.
FIVE JUST BEACURES I LOVE RAINBOW DASH
The below individual does not seem to understand that you, the submitter of this submission cannot magically reproduce Asleigh Ball's voice. Unfortunately, it is currently impossible at this time in technological advancement to create a rant in a specific individual's voice simply by typing a script.
Get a brane, son.