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A Normal Lan Party

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rated 2.69 / 5 stars
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Uploaded
Dec 26, 2011 | 3:25 AM EST

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Author Comments

enjoy and remember lan parties can be all kinds of crazy

Reviews


MyCrossSoftMyCrossSoft

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Y'know that title is an oxymoron, right?

Anyway, nice one, though animation is a bit wonky (it was probably made on purpose, though). 10 stars and since I am 5-bomber, guess rest.



NilamNilam

Rated 1 / 5 stars

This isn't satire. This is just... bad.

This animation has multiple issues.

Most egregious of the issues is the voicing. Please take come care if you want to use voices. Gibbering into a microphone does not make you sound like you are saying irrelevant things; It makes you sound like you do not understand how to communicate. Nobody who is trying to say something will talk in a falsetto, so if that is the only voice you can do other than your normal one, please get someone else to handle the other voice.

From a visual standpoint, you could certainly have taken a little more care. The animation is choppy beyond reason and from an art perspective, the characters need quite a bit of work. Again, I understand satire well enough to know that this is not a caricature, this is simply poor drawing.

Finally, the writing is in serious need of revision. The gibbering mentioned earlier is not just a voicing issue: it applies to writing as well. The two characters could certainly banter a bit more, even without over-exerting the artist's limited skills. "Dude, if you pull off that nuke move again and kill us both, I'm totally making you buy the next round of drinks!" would have been an example of improved dialogue that wouldn't take any additional artwork (although it certainly invites us to pop back and see the characters actually NETWORKED IN A LAN).

Although not an entirely bad idea, the implementation counts for a lot in a submission. A little more care in the artwork, writing and voice departments could mean a world of good for this project.


People find this review helpful!
smileylife responds:

i intended this to be shitty , i am being a dick to my friends , seeing how you took your time bum rushing it , well that only means i accomplished what i set out for.


123mine123123mine123

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Oh wow...this is weird...

This is really weird and awkward...
The art was very cartoony, but not very well drawn...
The sound quality is just bad...(need better mic I guess)
The plot...there was no plot.
It was purely random and I guess you need to make a better story. :D


People find this review helpful!
smileylife responds:

it was intended to be shitty good sir , as i am being a douche bag to my friends :D