Al the Xmas Velociraptor

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I tried to have this done for Christmas last year, but was about a month late to submit it with any relevance. Sorry to all the voice actors I've kept waiting for a year, and thanks again for all the help!

Merry Godmas!


I was a bit torn..

It has great art behind it. Everything was lip synced very well...and the writing wasn't bad, but I just didn't find myself enjoying this as much as I thought I would because of some elements that could've been fixed with more fleshing out, and some redoes from the voice actors.

To start with, I think that people saying the whole thing ran a bit long do have a point, though I understand the whole irony of the situation lasting so long when the obvious culprit was there the whole time is a part of the piece's charm, I also feel the monologues could have been shortened, and the timing could have been tightened up.

A few of the voice actors either have no pop filter or their pop filter is letting air through into the mic. Not only does this risk damaging their microphone's capsule, but it sounds really bad...luckily, I know a great, and cheap, solution to this.

If the guy/girl has a pop filter: Tape a pencil to the middle of the pop filter vertically, this will separate the gusts of wind coming out of your mouth, and prevent them from ever reaching the microphone capsule.

If he/she doesn't have a pop filter: Simply tape the pencil to the middle of the mic's grill that you're speaking into vertically. It has the same effect, but wont shield the mic capsule from spit and other debris that the pop filter provides protection from.

Though this 'toon wasn't bad, I just didn't find myself liking it. I still think everyone did an alright job with it, and small improvements could have been made here or there...but I am giving it a 7 because it has a lot of room for improvement.

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The thing about this animation is that it's overall fairly good, and I probably would have given it a nine if it were not for the fact that it looks like a cheap version of one of JohnnyUtah's animations. Your animation, humour, and style overall seems to be a bad version of JohnnyUtah's. If you are trying to base your animation style on his, I'd give you one thing, change up some things and don't try to copy, just create your own, take hold of your own personal style. One thing I would really like to see is better character shading and better lip syncing, those are the things you should work on right now. 6/10 Take hold of your own style and don't just create a badly photocopied version of somebody else's style, you have much potential, so work hard on shading, your own style and lip syncing, which I know all of those are hard, but they are needed right now for you to truly take hold of your true potential -Staadsy

Could have been really funny at half the length.

Why was that so long? You really fucked up a lot of your comedic timing by having it go so slow, I think this cartoon could have been really funny with about half of the banter taken out of it. The idea was really funny and the graphics, though lazy on the animation side, were easy on the eyes. But the first scenes, the scene with the cops with the Johnny Utah voice, the friend making the snowman, were really unfunny and threw the cartoon off balance. Others could have been shortened, because the awkwardness wasn't well-handled, but other than that everything else worked. Trim the fat and you have some great toonage here, velociraptors never fail to be fucking hilarious to me.

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Overall it was alright

The style is crisp and your animation is ok, could have been a bit livelier. The humour was also a bit flat, the plot got dragged out for far too long. I must admit I was gonna turn it off after the first scene but my curiosity got the better of me. Im just saying you probably could have hit home if you made it shorter, it would have made the humour punchier. Keep it up though :)

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Was Nice but the dialogue needed a quicker pace I thought! otherwise nice on the animation

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Credits & Info

3.73 / 5.00

Dec 25, 2011
1:15 PM EST
Comedy - Parody