very good game

i will finding a new guy of the dreams

A: ITS MORE OF A STORY
B:ONLY 1 THING REALLY
C:LAME GAME EVEA!!!

Wonderful

I like this alot. Mostly because I've played a lot of VN games, and this one is good. It could have had more creativeness, like more detail in the characters, and a better looking text box. Other than that, this is very good. Keep up the good work with a bit of effort, and this could be a ten!

Well...

Ok, as no one else has reviewed this I am going to. I will try to be fair and give some direction. I think you have an okish start to something here but it does have some problems that detract from it:

1. The game has way way too much filler between choices. I was a bit impatient by the time I made it to the first choice. I understand that this is a novel but still, it felt like filler.

2. The effect of the choices should be clear, at least by the time the demo ends. I found it a bit hard to tell what impact had been made by the choice as one of the choices gives information far beyond where the demo ends on the other line.

3. More choices, and this really flows into the other two comments. If you go through more than 10 reading panes without some interaction other than pushing a button people begin to get bored.

4, Although I can tell that you put a great deal of effort into this, I didn't feel engrossed in anything. The characters and opinions were not well developed. Playing off my other comments try making fewer more meaningful things to read. it will make the story move along more quickly, and make the reader more empathetic to the character(s).

Pushing through through this game I found very little interaction and only a single choice. The music quit and didn't restart. Although this was fine by me because I would have muted it if the game had a mute button, for people who wanted the ambiance it was gone. You also didn't put in new music at the club which would have been a good idea. I didn't find the music to immerse me in any sentiment, because it didn't really apply an appropriate tone to the story. You really need to mix up the music to pull feeling out of it. A short piece of mildly melancholic music that doesn't repeat does nothing. I don't see anything particular about this 'demo' that would make me want to go out of my way to view the whole thing. I do understand that writing an interactive story can be difficult and time consuming. If you reduce the number of frames and increase the number of choices you will capture the reader more easily and ultimately you should reduce your overall file size.

As a result, I can't give this a very good score. Though it may seem harsh to you 0/5 and 2/10 seems fair to me at this stage. Keep trying, I'm sure you can make something much better.