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Hal's Donuts Pilot

rated 2.93 / 5 stars
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Comedy - Original

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Credits & Info

Oct 2, 2011 | 1:48 PM EDT

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Author Comments

This is the first flash movie I have ever uploaded anywhere, so I guess its not bad. Please leave some tips for us as I am a flash beginner and know little programming or such like.



Rated 1 / 5 stars

Moved to slow

This animation moved rally slow. It took forever to get started and the music in the beginning was so annoying I had to turn the volume off, and some of the voice acting at some parts was really bad. It wasn't that funny to me either. But I do see some hope. You are better at animation than some people so just keep practicing

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Rated 2 / 5 stars

More of a slideshow.

This animation is more moving pictures. instead of actual animation. You need to start animating rather than making pictures move. The mic was a bit to loud, the story was really random and wasn't something interesting. This is a bit of constructive criticism don't take offence, keep practising , good luck :)

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Rated 2.5 / 5 stars


It's not horrible for your very first animation--a lot better than I could ever do. XD Anyways. I was thinking of ways you can improve on your next submission--if you end up keeping the series, it could be interesting--your characters weren't too badly developed. :)

Anyways. I'm sorry to say this, but the music was horrid at times. If you really want to use your friend's music, have him go through a few tutorials before you use it again, because some of the random boops and beeps were irritating. You're allowed to use most of the music in the audio portal with permission, and there's a lot of awesome stuff there that'll fit with ANYTHING.

Also, sometimes the voices were a bit scratchy due to the sensitiveness of the mic, probably--or you were talking too loudly. Most of the time it was okay, but when Hal was talking at the end (or I'm assuming it's Hal), it was extremely distorted.

the humor was good, the settings and animation weren't too bad, of course you can always improve, and I hope you keep making flashes and I see them on the portal later. :)

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StormWorldsTM responds:

Well, this was more of a learning curve than anything. I only made this animation to get started and kinda rushed the plot and animation. A lot of it could of been better which I will try to improve on in the next episode.

The bit where hal is talking at the end is supposed to be distorted.

But thanks for your positive review and I could really use the tips!


Rated 3 / 5 stars


Here's some feedback:
The intro was too damn long. Credits are usually put in the end. You can put them in the beginning if it lasts for only, like three seconds.
Took way too long zooming in the house.
The voice acting is generally good. put the ear rape at the end was totally annoying.
Try to make the story and sequences flow; no awkward pauses and random things.
For a firsty, you've certainly shown some talent overall.

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Rated 5 / 5 stars


lolagez :D Great animating mate!