Well thought out
In terms of the animation, for your first project it's amazing. Of course you can improve but there are many animators on this website who have been doing this for years and still aren't as good. People have criticised the voice acting but I don't think it's bad at all. Just a little versatility would've done you good.
In terms of the storyline, I think you could've improved on the humour. I think the dialog was good enough, just the execution wasn't there. Like you said, it's hard to transfer a comic into animated form, probably why you don't see it much but I think with a little tweaking you should improve and I look forward to your next work (assuming you'll carry on)
so i thought the joke itself wasnt that good and kinda dragged on, but damn thats some fine animation skills you got there. Ive seen your earlier projects and this is a massive step up. Just make sure next time you voice act you make it less obvious that your reading off a script, put some emotion into it.
needs to be funnier
great animation but you need to get yourself a writer.
Although you clearly spent a good amount of time on this animation, the motion of the characters wasn't very realistic. While it was quite fluid FBF, it lacked the ease and timing that would add to the realism.
Take a look at this: bit.ly/g4FLM
You can see that the team of animators that created that cutscene put lots of effort into animating it. However, the movements are extremely choppy and unrealistic. Learning to ease into and out of different poses can help make the frame by frame more natural. The easiest way to do this is to insert one more frame in between the first frame and the second frame, and the last frame and the second to last frame. Then inbetween the added frames, and repeat this process until the motion looks realistic.
You put lots of time and effort into making the animation, and I think it really made a difference. But no matter how much time you put in, a good understanding of motion can always make an animation look better.
Voice acting was lacking
But aside from that it was pretty good, and I laughed a couple of times. The animation was great too.