Great art but...
Given the circumstances under which you had to produce this game, I have to say it's a very high quality creation. However, there are many flaws with it.
Contrary to what many people say, I think the music is great and fits the overall atmosphere of creepiness nicely. You should have attempted to follow this through, and kept the whole game withing the horror genre. The random humorous tangents not only are out of place, but take away some script quality from what would otherwise be a good horror story.
Game play-wise, I would say that more forks should be available (mainly, more ways to lose, thus increasing the pressure of choice-making). Also, there should be an option to continue on the last fork, rather than have to start all over.
The use of only black and white art helps to emphasize the feeling of isolation. This works great when combined with the music. The one thing I'm dissatisfied with is the cliche ending, which has been seen many times over, such as in Fight Club, or The Secret Window. All in all, it's a good "game" which leaves lots of room for improvement.
I disagree with your analysis of the story. It was meant to parody, not be a legitimate horror game. The comedy is what makes this game so great, story wise.
good idea, great art, not so good story.
Think you should try harder with the writing, next time. a project like this has a ton of potential. The ending was a clear rip off, I mean we all get our ideas from somewhere but its how we put them together in new ways that makes an interesting story.
I really want to see you take another shot at this, starting from scratch. this time leaving out the chickens and what not. If you want i can help you brain storm just PM me on here or something. I have a few ideas.
watch some paranormal shows like X-Files. surf around the net for weird creepy stuff. (the /x/ boards on the chans is a good start). build a resource of ideas to pull from.
the art for this was great. music selection was right on. it was a nice little short fun game to play. Dont give up on this theres a ton of stuff you can do with it, you could really give some of these people nightmares if you execute it right.
You need to take into account that It was almost meant to PARODY, not scare, and with the little amount of time we had, It is not easy to write an AMAZING STORY, and I think we did pretty well(Game Jam). Of course a project like this has potential, and I'd like to do another, but the jokes were there, and were the original part of the writing.
The story was not a CLEAR rip off, I have never seen fight club, but I'm sure they are quite similar according to what people have said. It was not meant to be legitimately scary. I do NOT need help with writing, and this story will NOT be revisited.
Tanks for offering your advice, but You have to remember, this was all made in 72 hours (story included) for the game jam.
There will most likely be another game using a similar engine, but it will be written better, as we will have more time, Thanks for offering help though.
So... Much... Text...
Overall, not a bad game. The twist was silly, unoriginal, and poorly-handled, but I can accept that. The alternate endings are non-sequitor and even more stupid, but it's SORT of funny...
The whole humor aspect just seems like you're trying too hard...
But on the other hand, the game works, is a game, and the graphics are actually pretty good.
As a last zinger, the fact that you have to click TWICE to get through text boxes is jut a pain.
tl;dr, The game's solid, but far short of excellent. Pretty damn good for a Game Jam game, though.
Once the text has been printed, only one click is required to advance.
If you click before that, the entirety of the line is printed, so that you dont have to wait for it to type out.
It's still one click to advance.
Thats the standard for text based visual novels.
Thanks for your input.
I'm going to make a better game, with a similar style, but way better story, and such.
It had a nice storyline the creepyness the humor made it even darker and twisted. You should make another one maybe "Mystery Of Willow Mannor 2" if you have not already.
all in all a good game
The story was interesting, the extra endings were fun. THe flaws to the game were:
1.When you die you start all over again, you have to click through all the text at the begining, that was a little bit frustraiting
2.The only action done by the character that made an impact on the world of the game gets completely discarded. I mean the killing of Norm. You kill him and he appears again like nothing happened.
But, as stated in the title of the review, this is a good game
Thanks for the comments.