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Mr. Mittens and the AHHHH

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ok i wanted to make this for cat day but i thought of this idea 2 last minute and then i was busy and excuses ): now im gonna go sleep cause i havent slept in like 24 hours or something!!1 ENJOY THIS CAT DAY MOVIE ILL FINISH IT LATER PROBABLY SORRY VOICE ACTORS LOL ESPECIALLY CADILLAC WHO DIDNT GET TO BE IN THIS EVEN THO HE PLAYED A GOOD PUG KING. YOU WILL BE IN PART 2 WHEN I FINISH THIS. I PROMISE.

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good, BUT!

it was great! loved the adventures of the mr. mitten'z, (is that his names?!) and his adventures and the encounter with the cool, mean, pug-dude-riderz.
very cool, liked the climax, but i kinda disliked the cliffhanger, and the ''to be CONTINU'D!'' -partz, was kinda of a bummer.
good work, tho. you rock as awlays, mr. KELTR0N.
finish this. 8

amazing

Just love it :D
lovely style LOL

That was soooo boring.

The animation was lazy at best. The voice acting was drone. The writing was poor. Every attempt at humor was thrown off by obviously stupid gags.

I am going to assume that this project was made in the aforementioned 24 hr. period in the comments. If this is true then you should have just taken time on it instead of hastily submitting this schlock. Regardless of the many flaws, you seem to have something going on behind the scenes that could hold all this together. So if you will be patient with my frustration in watching so many times, I will do my best to help you out. I suggest dropping a second part to it and revamping the whole thing.

Now I haven't been steeped in the newgrounds community very thoroughly, but I think you had reference to clockcrew animation, yes? Don't do that. The thing next to the faces to show talking; drop it. Bother to animate their mouths to some extent. Even having so much as scribbles moving on the right part of the face would be enough.
Beyond that, there really isn't much animation going on. Which would be fine, of course if the stills were drawn better. I've seen better in stick-animation. The best animation I did see was in the little blinking there was. It was appropriate in timing to let the viewer know Mr. Mittens he was getting bored. If you could bring the rest of this cartoon up to the quality of that animation, this flash would look way better.

Oh dear lord the writing. Anywho, the story seemed liken to the laziest "I can haz cheezburger?" version of Lord of the Rings I've ever seen. But LotR had a backstory and it actually ended. (Four times in fact.) The biggest problem I had with it was the bad guy. A story about being a hero and defeating an enemy erupted from no where. A villain was introduced by the "hero" while the audience had to draw from nothing. This could have been solved in one of two easy ways. In the beginning you could have mentioned that maybe the kitty kingdom worked hard to preserve its kitty utopia after having escaped the grip of the pug king. Or, in the dialogue between Mr. Mittens and the old cat, instead of the hero revealing the villain the old cat that had knowledge of this -yet-to-unfold mystery could have told us. In this manner, we the audience can feel some surprise to a new terror as opposed to feeling out of the loop.

The greater problem however lies in the dialogue. "Hey buddy you listenin' to me or are you just ingnorin' everything I'm sayin'?" "Mr. Mittens walked alone. He was alone and he never felt alone so he wasn't used to feeling alone." (I paraphrased, but that's what I got out of that.) "Bring only bread and water and your necessities..." And my favorite line," The jackets EMBEZZLED with rubies, etc. etc...." Embezzled huh? That's why you don't rush things. In case you still don't get it, it's 'emblazoned' not 'embezzled'.
Those are just a few examples of course. These are lines that could have been written better or just never said. I think it was rather pointless to point out that Mr. Mittens knew what to expect when he picked up the crystal. Lines like "Bring only bread and water and your necessities" could be shortened to "Bring only what you need." It's almost cliche but serves it's purpose. Short and direct. Lines like, "Are you listenin' to me..." Could have been given some gag. Something like, "Are you listenin' to me or you already neck deep in the shit I'm going to put you in if you aren't!" More to the point, put some emotion into the writing. Make the dialogue pop where it needs to and subtle where it should be. For example, the britishy story book narration I think you were going for; something akin to the first narrator for Winnie the pooh, should have remained a calm and composed voice throughout. The narrator, at least in my opinion, broke character when the old cat arrived and never went back like he was afterward. Unlike the narrator, the catnip miner could have been a bit more aggressive.

Right, Im running out of characters again, so I'll PM the rest to the producer.

Cheers!

I was having an sugar rush while watching this

Great :)

Its ok but needs some fine-tuning

If you need another artist, I will be glad to help.

Credits & Info

Views
7,826
Faves:
2
Votes
20
Score
4.17 / 5.00

Uploaded
Mar 13, 2011
5:25 PM EDT
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