The Essay

Share Collapse

Author Comments

EDIT: :) I was just about to go to bed when I noticed my game chillin there on the front page. That makes me really happy. I apologize for the glitches, I promise I'll fix them tomorrow. Peace B)

You can either type A Brother of St. Francis, or write your own. They goal of the game is to type the essay for as long as possible without the text filling the screen. In the event of text overload, you freaking die. Good luck sonny.

Log in / sign up to vote & review!

Newgrounds accounts are free and registered users see fewer ads!

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

My favorite custom essay.
Also it's a fun game.

Fishlicka responds:

Hahaha I'm really glad I included the custom essay feature!

As soon as I started I knew I was going to fail, so I just chilled and listened to the awesome music!


wow i thought i was a fast writer but this proved me otherwise, very challenging game

This is weird........................

Why did my backspace button is not working?

Typing? Fun? Yes, suprisingly!

I enjoy how the game is an original work! Great use of a novel too! I would like to see an option in a future installment that allows you to be able to choose excerpts from a variety of great writers such as Hawthorne, Poe, Hemmingway, Tolkien, Vonnegut, Myers, etc. I did notice that if you type too fast then the game fails to recognize the letters you typed so quickly, making it impossible for you to actually match the speed of the white lines and thus making it impossible for you to keep up. Also, that is a rather strenuous speed, even for a secretary I would say. Other than these few flaws, the game could be beneficial in helping people improve their typing speed, just fix them first. Good concept though, and keep continuing to improve functionality.

Credits & Info

3.45 / 5.00

Feb 10, 2011
8:16 PM EST
Skill - Typing