Tired of waiting?
Click here to disable ads!
You are not logged in. If you sign up for an account,
you can gain additional voting power over time, allowing your vote to have an even
greater impact on submission scores!
My first movie
I like it! Just a few areas for improvement
Some excellent animation in here, especially the way you move the 'camera' around the scene. The characters move smoothly, though there are long sections where everything is too static.
Art style is excellent, and I like your character designs and use of colour.
Some well used music which is well timed, and the same goes for the sound effects.
Areas for improvement:
The sections of dialogue are slow and boring. Improve the script to get a few more laughs, or shorten it entirely to get to the action/point. Some of the speech bubbles are up too long as well, dragging the pace down even more. You could also try out some voice acting rather than relying on dialogue boxes. Finally you could be animating during the periods of speech- everything is completely static in these sections, and even something simple like a hen in the background would instantly make the scene feel more real.
While your music was good, there wasn't nearly enough of it! You could have had background music going on throughout (which would have helped with the slow dialogue as well). Certainly the background wind sound was getting very wearing by the end, while some appropriate music would have been more entertaining. If you need music perhaps visit the audio portal here on Newgrounds for a wealth of material (though obviously it would all need correctly crediting).
Still, a very good effort for a first submission, and plenty of potential for some excellent pieces in the future!
Thank you for your advice. Much appreciated.
Subpar is haunted by an evil spirit on Halloween night!
A short animation about some glorious ice creams
Luigi Beware, You're in for a Scare...!
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.