It has potential.
I gave you six for music and idea. There would be more points if it was longer, you should actually show that he chose to keep it in the end, it looks like "no littering on my floor". Keep up the good work.
Author Comments
My first flash toon.
OhLawdy.
Constructive criticism is welcome.
Hopefully I scripted everything correctly.
-crosses fingers-
Confusing story-line step-by-step explanation:
Odd individual in the beginning.
Sews up a doll.
Decides he doesn't like it.
Throws it away.
Dolls defects become apparent.
Odd individual from the beginning must have had some sort of change of heart.
Because he figures even things with small defects,
are worth keeping.
EDIT:
Replay button must hate me.
Tween is remedial at end.
Will fix.
Good for your First Flash
The story is great, loved how you presented it. Animation wasnt great, but wasnt too bad either. Looking forward to see more of your work.
Kaydea responds:
Thank you.
I'm working on something now.
Although it's nothing like this;
I'm excited.
Good Beginning Flash
It's better than most flashes done by beginners, indeed. You must keep it up. :)
Kaydea responds:
Thank you very much.
it's weird.
I hve to admit that sometimes the dark works, has an interesting move inside the endless life trama, the goth shows in a very strange but profound way how life can be beatiful oves, even when everything seems horrible and weird.
but your animation seems to be imcomplete, and as an advice. Never explain your animation, let the public try to understand if you want to make a figurate work.
Kaydea responds:
Thank you for the review.
I explained because a friend of mine told me that without the explanation people might assume I half-assed and just threw a bunch of stuff together.
I didn't show him sewing the doll, because it was more figurative than literal...
And I thought without giving a short explanation, people wouldn't get it... AT ALL.
Ha.
I appreciate the review.
interesting iniciative
i like how you express your thinking in that movie. If you can fox the "retry" button, and do the movie more fluid, it will be great
Kaydea responds:
Thank you for your review.
I will probably just totally remake this at a later date
and submit it differently,
as a full story instead of just being figurative.
and try and figure out why the alsdjfa my replay button is being remedial.
xD