I think that the main problem with this video is in lacking continuity. The story jumps around a lot from place to place (Literally) with no real connection between the points, as if you wanted to put in a lot of information but either didn't put in the time to make it happen or simply didn't know how to do it smoothly.
More noticeable, though, were the voices. The levels on the voices were all (or mostly all) different, and it became really obvious, particularly when the Scottish character spoke, because it always sounded like he was ten feet from everyone else. A bit of balancing on those levels to get all the voices at the same place and this would have been much easier to watch.