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This is an animation I submitted to the Animation10 competition run by Manchester University. I got first prize, although I don't think it's the best, any feedback will help me for my future animations.

Sorry about the lack of a preloader, but I lost the .FLA file but still had the .SWF file without a preloader in it.

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I liked it

As was said before, very nice work on the backgrounds and timing. I didn't think the story was bad for something that was intended to be a short clip. Hope to see more projects from you in the future around here! Keep on rockin'!

Swallagoon responds:



I liked it... the story was nice, the animation was decent, and the art was pretty good... except for the characters. Not that they were terrible, but they just brought down the quality a bit, cause everything else was good. All in all, not bad, and if you follow the moral of your animation I think you could become a pretty popular animator.


While your cinematography, animation and timing is near to perfect.
The lack of a preloader [which is the presentation of your artwork, and makes up for 50% of your final product] takes away A LOT of your content.
Fix that and you'll definitely get a high score/award/whatever.

Secondly. This is something I struggle with as well so I recognize it....
The lack of a coherent story.
The editing is badly done...It is a mush of scenes that are bound together by the same character.
The story is hard to grasp, and is kind of lame if you think of it.
Adding to it that it's nearly over a minute long and only contains a single flashback (and in total 3 scenes), can confuse the viewer.

I'm just saying this because your blur effects, awesome FbF work, feel for scenery and perfect sound effects to add to the emotion shows you have great knowledge.
And maybe you are aware of the things I pointed out, maybe not. Either way you're here to get reviewed and this is what I saw.

Also, I find that there's still room for improvement on your characters. They seem a bit too...."badly drawn" in contrast to your backgrounds/FBF work.
Anyway...I can keep on going for ever and ever but I'll just leave at this.

Imma check out what else you got.

Swallagoon responds:

Thanks for the feedback.

The animation had to be one minute long exactly, so fitting a deep and clever story was pretty much out of the question since I'm not a very good story teller.


It was good to me, animation wise, however I guess I don't understand the ending.


I loved all of the camera changes and the movement was smooth. I loved the attention to detail in this flash. But I think the outlines of the figure were a little rough and I thought the outlines detracted from the realism of the movie. Great work!