Indeed, he could.
This is a difficult review, because you seem to be acutely aware of the usual elements of a review. You point out that the art is badly drawn (though, usually, my only standard for the art is whether or not it serves to portray the story and if it fits the tone. In both those respects the art was fine) and the tongue-in-cheek telling of the story leads me to believe that you are already familiar with the elements of storytelling and what your video is lacking.
I will touch on the sound, which on the whole was fine, though the voice-over was a little quiet. Other than that everything worked well - intro and ending musics were especially fitting.
The joke was quite clever, in my humble opinion, and I laughed allowed watching the button begrudgingly fulfilling the requests. The lampshaded anticlimax conclusion was also legitimately funny.
All in all, the only real critique I can make is whether or not any effort went into the creation of this video and without seeing your other work I cannot say. So, please, submit more. I think you could be, at the very least, a talented humorist.