This is SPARTA!!!!!!!!
This is SPARTA!!!!!!!!
I think everything that had to be said about this has already being said, but I will tell you what I think, and give you advice instead of just pointing out the flaws you already know.
First of all, there are some things that make a flash good: sound (music, sfx, voice), story, art (and the quality of animation) and comedy. Most flashes only need two or three of those to be good, so I´ll tell you what this animation has.
Sound: 1 point
Music...not very high quality, and most of the flash had no background music. If it had voice it would not be a problem, but instead of voice, you used mumbling sounds, and the sfx you used was kind of annoying (clicking sounds when people walk, for example). You even got Rina-chan to help you, but it didn´t make a difference, because there´s NO dialogue.
My advice: find some nice background music, there´s lots on Newgrounds you can use, and make sure the sfx is good (there are lots of free sound effects on findsounds and flashkit) and of course, next time write a script with words, not mumbling, if you´re going to ask a voice actor/actress to help you.
Story: 1 point
Since there was no voice, no word ballons, and the art was not good, I had to use my imagination to guess what the flash was about. Apparently, some guy moves out of his parents´ house, and lives his life normally, not worrying about well...taxes, right? If you´re going to talk about something, make sure you know what it is, you should have investigated what taxes are, and I think you already know that.
My advice: Make sure you investigate and understand the subject you´re animating about before starting to animate. If you have no voice, I don´t really recommend word ballons, but subtitles should be fine.
Art: 0 points
Sorry, but I can´t give the art of this flash anything higher than 0. The characters are stick figures, the backgrounds look like they were drawn in MS paint, and the motion is not fluid. Stick fights for example, can be good, even when the characters are so simple, bacause the motion is fluid, it has action, and most of the time the backgrounds are very well drawn. This has neither of those.
My advice: practice drawing in flash, don´t make the characters stick figures if you´re not going to animate them properly, take your time with the backgrounds, use shadows and highlights to give the drawings depth, read some flash tutorials, and use at least 18 FPS (frames per second) so it looks more fluid.
Comedy: 0 points
The genre of this is "Comedy-Original", but it didn´t even make me smile. To make something funny, it must have jokes (dialogue) or no voice, but a funny plot and good animation. I´m not sure what part of this was supposed to be funny, but to me, nothing was.
My advice: think of original jokes, or a funny story. But if you see something funny that is very popular and try to do the same, people are probably not going to like it, and remember, drawing badly on purpose doesn´t make a flash funny (I say that because some poeple think it does, draw badly on purpose, then find out nobody liked their flash).
Okay, that just my opinion. And about your comments, if you plan to continue the series, please improve everything. EVERYTHING. Graphics, animation, writing, music, comedy...and take your time, nobody is giving you a time limit. For this flash, I have to be honest, this is Newgrounds and it is 2010, so 2/10 and 1/5.
I hope you take my advices, I´m sure you will improve. Good luck with your future projects.
Well as i said in the last responses i'm still too bad in drawing, so i tried to use stick figures to give this animation a smoother look, which apparently didn't work. The mumbling was sort of a different idea i had, which didn't worked well too, so that is another thing that won't be in the next episode. About the sfx that is always a problem to find decent sfx sounds. Finally, about the comedy, i used some ideas i had while animating this video. Maybe some people think it's funny, but in overall most people didn't liked it as well. It will take a time for me to post anything new around here, because i still have a lot to improve. Thanks for your opinion :D
a 1 for trying but i didnt like the animation and there was no voice and i just didnt understand most of the story
Couldn't even make it through the whole thing
Bad. But most of the time I prefer to go into depth of how bad something is, especially crap like this
Have you heard of effort? Because it sure doesn't seem that way. Not only did you use stick figures you used stick figures and failed miserably at animating them. And all the backgrounds look like something that took two minutes max
in ms paint. Oh yeah almost forgot, your "art" gave me cancer. Why can't you take more than five seconds on one scene!?
Voice Acting: 0/10
That stupid Sims mumble crap doesn't work if you can't put imagery to it, but that's saved for the art and animation section of my review. Sounding like a chipmunk is guaranteed to make your flash receive blams, Unless you do it on purpose then you're retarded. Oh you also got Rina-Chan and I despise her
Do you know what the difference between a tax and a bill is? Seems like you don't. How hard is it to Google something up it would take you like five minutes. there was no REAL writing so it automatically get's a zero.
The only thing that made me laugh was how pathetic this is. Also before you ask NO I DON'T THINK IT'S A FUCKING GOOD IDEA TO CONTINUE THIS ATROCITY!!
You could at least TRY to make more sense in your videos. Ill give you a 2 for knowing how to spell though.