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I don't know if this is an improvement or not. i will make two more of these, basically the same story, but adding on a little more to the beginning and the end each one.
Please give me constructive criticism in the comments! I am new to Flash, and don't have a ton of time to use it.

Also, could you watch my other submissions and rate+comment on them too?

The song used is "La marelle", by daduk. The album was free, So you know, eat it. Daduk's music was used in Blueberry Garden, if anyone played that.



Beginin could have a better going.. But there is no real history on the movie. Remember: Animation may not be important if your message is good enough.


This is funny weird.

I love the effect wen the objects appears, this make a points.

smile373 responds:

The effects when the objects appear this make a points? I don't follow what you're saying.


smooth out the animation and you really have something there...really like the music too.


Feedback ya want tis what you get.

The story is fun, w little God like Marker action/

the main issue I have is the lack of continuity between scenes.

I get at the end he was attacked but I am not tracking with the flashing heart things.

i suppose that might be because of the fact this is a work in progress? Even so, it just makes sense to me that you release an entire thing all in one go than in little updated bits (unless it is a large project or you are doing a pilot episode.)

smile373 responds:

Thank you for your comments, and yes, I was planning on making a couple of these.nthis first one I was hoping to test out what worked with the animation. During summer vacation, (4 weeks) I plan to really fine tune the animation, as well as add story onto the beginning and the ending, and the third to have aa very low frame rate, but have really detailed frames. This is my first actal project, and I hope it works.

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Credits & Info

2.66 / 5.00

May 27, 2010
8:42 PM EDT