you need a lesson or two in game design.
for one the lazer beam from the ubermachines mouth was too quick, there was no time to react if you were under it (which would be the only reason it fired)
the uberkids somehow werent programmed to fire for 10 seconds
the mines... wtf? instant kill once they were laid
i found the easiest way to win is to stand right under the machine and keep firing, i won with 1 life left like that...
great art and thats why it gets the 8, otherwise i would have given it a 2
Mind blowing graphics? Looks pretty? Heh, I don't know what this is being compared to or how many games these people have actually played since 1995 but this game is pure shit. Didn't like it one but. Controls were slow and dodgy, one hit one kill is beyond ridiculous, I don't even want to finish this review. I just want to get on with my life and forget about this travesty as soon as possible. Maybe play an actual game by an actual talented Newgrounds artist.
but i still don't get any medals (i won three!)
I'm Tied Up :P
Like Burning-Wookie said The are is amazing and great. But it seems if the game is too cheap on me... I was on my last life. Then I had exactly 2 more shots till I won. But then when I killed the Uber Kid, a random bullet came from the right side of the screen and kills me. D:
The game looks amazing, the art is mindblowing but the programming is shit. It's like playing Metal Slug if it came out for the Atari 2600. Worse actually.
~There's no diagonal shooting, fine I can deal.
~There's no crouching, Major nono. Especially once the boss' health is almost halfway gone. I'll explain next.
~The Jumping is shitty. You need to not only time when the uberkids are going to shoot (Which is random and may never happen) but you need to be head and shoulders higher than normal for the collision to make it count.
~Collision. With so much shit going on I have no idea what the fuck was going on. I have 2 uber kids on either side of me a landmine (WHICH WITHOUT DUCKING OR DIAGONAL SHOOTING, OR PROPER JUMPING IS A SURE FIRE WAY TO FUCKING DIE IF I'M BOXED IN) The giant ass laser kills me when I'm only inches away from, the uberkids can shoot and if I attempt to last minute jump if my invisible shoelaces get hit then I die, If I get 2 steps away from the landmine I get killed...
I can go on and on and on.
It's obvious that this game was rushed but... Hey at least it looks pretty.