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rated 2.75 / 5 stars
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Comedy - Original

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Credits & Info

Apr 28, 2010 | 6:03 AM EDT

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Author Comments

My first NG released flash movie. Clinker is a robot working at a jazz club and once he hears one of the pianists playing after closing he wants to become a piano magician. This isnt a laugh really hard comedy but its not really a dram either. Its sort of a dramedy. The music was also all original created by me. I messed up the resolution so thats why it looks kind of strange at moments. I would love to get some comments




Rated 3 / 5 stars

This is one of the few movies I've seen that have better storytelling than animation. I honestly think this could be a really nice toon if it had better animation.

You seem to have the basics of storyboarding down, which is good. So here's the thing: try to stay away from the muddy colors.

It can look nice if done correctly but otherwise it has that "default color scheme" sort of vibe and looks ugly.

The drawings could use more smoothing, they seem a bit squiggly and out of place. Some of them lacked detail like the walls, maybe add a picture frame or two?

Silhouettes. I like them as much as the next guy but there's a difference between cleverly using them and trying to get out of actually drawing them. All depends on the color scheme and the surroundings.

Not a fan of silver gradients. If you know a color you want to use but aren't sure which colors go with it google "(insert color) color combos" for a neat list of which colors go with which. It's very handy for beginners!

The "not human hands" timecard ruined it. Show don't tell. Or if you're really struggling with that add fitting "black-and-white" music to compensate. Always works!

So overall, did I enjoy this? Yes I did though it can definitely use improvements. Good luck!


Rated 3 / 5 stars

Liked it!

Your animation was short but touching. Of course do your animations still need improvemant but I liked the idea of the story.
You may also try using some sounds (e.g. for the falling chair or some background sounds of a club) and adding a replay button ;-)

Keep it on!

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TopazPie responds:

Thanks I forgot about the replay. ill be sure to include it in my next one.


Rated 2 / 5 stars

Just starting out.

Don't use motion tweens to do anything but horizontal motions. When an object rotates it must be redrawn, or it will look wrong.
Don't use silver gradiants(sp?) unless you absolutely must.
Silhouettes are cool but don't HAVE to be jet black.

Things that will make you better at a rapid speed:
Read Animators survival kit.
Do 5 still life drawings of a bar, spending no less than an hour on each.
Plan your colors out before you put them into your film.
Tween only when you must.

Keep animating,
It will only get more rewarding.

People find this review helpful!
TopazPie responds:

Thanks for all the advice :) ya I'm going to spend more time on my scenes because they are pretty much just blank space haha very helpful