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CoolJaw: T.T. V-V

Score:
rated 3.36 / 5 stars
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4,821 Views
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Genre:
Drama
Tags:
gore
sex
demon
blood

Credits & Info

Uploaded
Apr 9, 2010 | 8:02 PM EDT

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Author Comments

Hello,

Finally the "Tooth For A Tooth" story is complete.

This one is massive, and wraps up the loose ends in the "tooth for a tooth" story.
I consider this one to be the darkest cooljaw, and also ironically the most humorous, It's my favorite of all the cooljaw chapters currently on the portal. Despite the A.O. rating those of you expecting boobs will be disappointed!

Please watch the comics in order or none of this will make sense! (Links to prior comics, are on the select comic page).

And add me to your favorites if you want a P.M when act three starts!
Sincerely,
- Celx

Reviews


AnimithAnimith

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Epic. 'Nuff said.

Alright, I'm going to start with the pedantic parts because I have a pretty high standard set for your stuff now so I feel a need to point out the little faults constantly because they're what's letting you down more than anything else.

1-Spelling. There's still a fair few typo's in this, most of which Steph covered. Really, really consider finding a proofreader, I'm sure a fair few people in the club wouldn't mind just looking through it, because as I said last time and maybe the time before, it's such a simple thing to fix and so aggravating that it's still a problem in your flashes.
2-The advert in the corner. Quite distracting, it would have been nice for it to somehow be able to disappear if you clicked a button. I get wanting the impressions/exposure, but having that moving image in the corner really didn't help things.

That aside: Dude. So glad I found the RRC, because I'd've never found this otherwise.

Definitely one of the darkest episodes you have. With the kid, especially; most people tend to avoid the threat of infanticide, just because it's so much more disturbing and disgusting with murder, and so as soon as you see the frame on that wall, you start to get uneasy, very quickly.

The artwork, as always, was stunning. One favourite would probably be the frame with Colin explaining how he wouldn't help Mason, and despite the relative lack of colour you can really sense the emotion there...to be fair, it probably took Colin a lot not to kill this guy right in front of him, given what he'd done...though it's interesting that we don't know Mason's fate...yet. ;D Does he survive his horrible wounds in the end, does his kid manage to stay sane, will either try and find revenge? Either way though, nice batch of karma for him...to save his son's life, he had to relive Malik's horrible fate.

Even moreso that Colin didn't come clean with Malik about it. Maybe he realised Malik wouldn't take it all that well, and it's not like any of them really have much sanity to share between them...if anything, Mason was probably the most sane, because he'd managed to work past his past.

The standoff with Malik and Colin was really nicely done' you got to see that Malik's vendetta extended way past Colin's, almost past the point of sanity; with Mason alive, Malik could kill his child and have Mason have to bear the burden of being "responsible" for his sons death...but with Malik believing Mason dead, it just seems like he was taking his anger out on an innocent for no reason other than madness. The frame with Colin standing behind Malik is perhaps my favourite of the series; it kind of mirrors the one we saw a few episodes before with the detective, but this one is far more malicious.

Annd I'm running out of characters, so I will stop rambling. In general though, this was a kickass conclusion. And yet again, you have an epic cliffhanger...as if people needed an extra reason to want to see Act 3.

You tied up a lot of loose ends, but there's still a few fates left uncertain and a few questions left unanswered. Can't wait for act 3, I'm almost curious to see if you can get even darker than you did here. Really, excellent, excellent work. You created a total nightmare, and it's an awesome to read through. Recommending this to every horror fan I know...now.

-Review Request Club


Celx-Requin responds:

This review was epic as always...
I'm going to start working on the third act tomorrow.
I hopefully should get at least one chapter of the last act done before I head out on my business trip :)

Thanks again your reviews in particular have been very helpful!
Sincerely,
- Celx


HaggardHaggard

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Nightmarish atmosphere

A few questions get answered in this episode, but there's still quite a bunch of unanswered questions. Hopefully it all will get resolved in act 3. :)

This episode is a lot longer than the previous ones which is good. It gives the story a nice boost and is also more interesting to read than the short episodes.

The atmosphere is really nightmarish here, especially in the scenes with the little kid. Hopefully you can keep the standard you set with the previous two acts in act three as well. :)

{ Review Request Club }


Celx-Requin responds:

Oh act three will pretty much resolve everything, and is probably the most twisted of the bunch!

Thanks Haggard!
- Celx


StepStep

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Superb atmosphere.

I'm really impressed by the atmosphere in this piece. It's dark, horrific and noticeably evil, plus the music compliments it so well. I'm really impressed with this, and I can't believe I missed so much when I wasn't reviewing your other flashes. Speaking of that, just to say I don't have time to read all of the comics to understand the story, sorry :(.

The graphics were really cool. Sketchy, but they evoke kind of a like a nightmare feel to the flash, and give the flash a really unique drawing style. The only thing that I don't really like would be the acid in the acid bath. Sure, you're supposed to make it sketchy, but there's a limit to how sketchy you can be, and with the acid, I feel that you surpassed that limit. Make the acid a bit more terrifying, and not just a few scribbles :\.

Also, I was hoping for some animation, since the only animated things were the speech bubbles. For example, you could make the acid in the acid bath animated a little, the part where the blood was vomiting could be animated as well, and even the part right after Malik told the boy that he has nothing against him could be animated (make Mason pop up from behind him, instead of just be there). Some subtle animation could really improve this submission, in my opinion.

The storyline is amazing. Even though I haven't read any other comics, I picked up from this comic only, and the story is so twisted and scary that I enjoyed it quite a lot. The cliffhanger effect at the end was effective as well. In addition to that, the little jokes you added (I lol'd at the "I'm going to take you home, hold on to my hand... Err on the other side") were great but didn't take away from the creepy and evil atmosphere. I'd just like to repeat on how amazing the atmosphere is, I think it's really a strong point in your CoolJaw submissions.

What might improve this is if you take away from the grammar mistakes as Coop83 said. It's "that's when I saw" not "I that's when I saw", "rendezvous" not "rendevu", "an acid bath" not "a acid bath", "whaddya" not "waddya", "breathe" not "breath", "won't" not "wont", "in an instant" not "in a instant", "SPLASH" not "SPASH", and what the heck is "subjesting"? There were also some places where commas were needed, other places where they weren't, and some conjunctions were missing too (if you want to, you can PM me if you're going to fix these mistakes, I'd be glad to help out). What I'm trying to say is, all these grammar mistakes sort of give a bad impression to the submission.

Regarding the fonts, I really liked that you took the time to handwrite the words in the speech bubbles instead of type them, and then type the narrating text boxes, since it gave a nice effect. I just don't like the font for the buttons at the bottom. It's so thin and compressed that it's very hard to see it properly unless you look closely. It probably can't be just me and my eyesight though, what I lost in my deaf ear, I gained in my eyesight so I can see stuff very well xD. As for the colours, overall they were dark and frightening, which works well, but I don't like the advertisement panel, its bright colours ruined the atmosphere, and I can say the same thing for the white previous/next buttons at the sides of the screen.

The audio was really good. In my opinion, Acid Horse fit really well in the submission. I liked that you had a music choice and even a mute button too. Nothing at all wrong with the audio, great job :D.

In general, this submission is just brilliant. The absolutely amazing atmosphere (lol alliteration), the great storyline, the unique 'nightmarish' drawing style, the perfect choice of music and the extremely well handwritten words in the speech bubbles definitely make up for the lack of animation, very sketchy acid bath, grammar mistakes, small font in the menu and distracting buttons at the side/advertising panel. Keep up the great work, I wish you like on future comics in this series, and I hope I find the time to check out your other comics, which I'm sure are awesome too.
9/10
5/5

-Review Request Club-


Celx-Requin responds:

Yes those spelling mistakes are a problem, I do my best to do a proofread, but I'm only human and I miss stuff, which is why these kind of reviews are super important!

By the way you made some spelling mistakes in your review :p
Thanks a million Steph!

Sincerely,
- Celx


CoopCoop

Rated 4 / 5 stars

More surrealism and questions

Well, here we are again, the conclusion of book 2 of the piece. I'm still left quite perplexed by the piece, especially as the drawings become quite difficult to interpret when it gets to a situation where there is a lot of detail and you cannot tell the foreground from the background. At this stage, your drawings are becoming that advanced that they need to get some shading on them, to make them easier on the eye.

Sometimes your scripts have slight grammatical errors that need attending to before heading to the publishing. In order to combat these, perhaps make a trip to the writing forum on Newgrounds and get some help there.

Your advertising pane is more of a pain to me - perhaps incorporate it into your loader screen, because the flashing imagery there does really distract from the mood of the piece.

[Review Request Club]


Celx-Requin responds:

Those spelling mistakes, cause me to lose sleep...

The advertising panel also causes me great grief, originally I did have it set up so the ad would disappear once the film was loaded.

Sadly the submission loaded too quickly, and the impressions weren't being counted :|

The drawings have started to get a little better huh?
I can notice the difference, between the earlier cooljaw stories, and the later ones...

Anyway thanks for the review!
- Celx


RogerBKRogerBK

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Awesome story

Man, your story is so great that I wanna read it one more time, since it's so hard, but it's awesome to understand what's going on, I really loved the way you told the stories, you made a misterious andcreepy thing... Awesome, simply awesome.

The draing were awesome, as always, but I see you're improving more and more... I can remember whan I gave you a 7 for this serie, and now, I'm giving you a 10... You made a great work with this serie, man, it's really a masterpiece, man, a MASTERPIECE.

This was a great ending, I can't wait for the next act, man, I think it'll be even beter than this one, keep it up Celx, awesome job.

(Review Request Club)
Roger


Celx-Requin responds:

Yeah the story is a little esoteric, once it's done I think it should be easy to read through though.

Thanks for the review Roger!
- Celx