The only thing I think needs improving is your voice-work, and there are also a lot of soft rhymes. Other than that its awesome and a great dystopia.
That was amazing...
It was smooth, fast paced and interesting.
I liked it alot.
Not much else to say.
That was...................BRILLIANT. The ONLY reccomendation I have for you is to slow the speech down just slightly. It seemed to go a little fast, but not to the point of confusion. Wonderful peice of art, keep up the good work and Ill be waiting for more from you.
I like this type of potry/music. it seems almost freestyle, but with guidelines. continue making these.