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Exile Preliminary 4

rated 4.07 / 5 stars
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Credits & Info

Mar 8, 2010 | 4:54 PM EST

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Author Comments

Aww shit, this is where it's at now! And i put the finishing touches on it too! Check those credits! Those are sick credits!

Alot of work was avoided once again by doing less work and having shittier scenes, but there were a few scenes there that just ROCKED your world! Like that ship-debris falling scene? BAM.

All in all, pretty cool, i was taking this thing super seriously before but now that i can see it being what it is... i totally don't wanna remake this anymore. But rather continue with "Ex5" with all my insightful eyes and college informed brain. So we'll see...

Cool, see ya! Maybe now i'll review patchman in the commentary box.



Rated 2 / 5 stars

Ambitious and tremendous effort shows

Unlike a lot of stuff on Newgrounds, it seems like you've worked really hard on this series. Your intention comes across well, but as with the previous "Exile" flash your techincal approach with figures, lighting, composition and colour requires more attention (but much improved from the past parts, definitely).

Take some life drawing into consideration (simply drawing friends sitting around helps) and also be more observant of how light affects your surroundings etc. etc. [but hey, your animation of closeups on hands are well done]. Just a question though, do you work from any references or is this all done by sitting at the computer and just getting the drawing done on screen? Have you ever considered set conventional approaches like storyboarding and working from photos of locales and certain figurative poses?

I can see some influences come through you work: My guess is that you draw inspiration from a mix of the Fire Emblem series, a number of animés and a bit of sci-fi. The action on screen in particular reminds me of animé sequences, but some scenes seem rather ill considered, or just technically undercooked.

Character designs could be much better. Probably the nature of animation may draw you to simpler designs, but it can come across as lack of attention to detail. Maybe a more stylised approach would ease that, I mean, your Patchman series seems comparably much stronger in its quality due to the stylisation.

Post-production of sound, music and voice acting could also improve a lot, still. Small sound effects to details can go a long way, like the sound of fabric rubbing against surfaces or the sound of foot steps and general movement in the minutest sense. I can't say a great deal on the voice acting with much knowledge on it, but I will say that personally, I detested it - finding it hammy and at times a bit forced or too unexpressive. Though I will be unapologetic for its quality, I do take into consideration (absolutely) that voice acting is extremely hard to get right unless you're a professional I suppose.

I've watched all parts of "Exile" and I find the story hard to follow. The pacing is also painfully slow at times. For example, your exposition in the first Exile just felt slugish and the dialogue is laboured and contrived. It seems to have gotten better since, but not by much. There are nice bits, like when Minus (did I hear her correctly?) sneaks up besides the character before speaking out - that's a nice touch. But on the whole the dialogue needs a lot of improvement.

It's fantastic you can collaborate all this into your animation, I'm assuming everything has been headed by you of course (in collaboration with voice actors and musician), which is an amazing feat if you've done this in your spare time; I really do admire that this flash exists on teh internets for people to enjoy.

However, if you're planning to do this for a living and go professional then I'd seriously ask you to take a more technically engaged approach. Perhaps the work you upload here pales in comparison to your college assignments/finished pieces.

But otherwise, I salute you, Jordan Duchnycz.

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Rated 5 / 5 stars


the animation was good but some of voice acting needs works(but its still good) hope to see another


Rated 5 / 5 stars


pretty good like i got into it kinda lol :) whens the next one coming out???????

RiverJordan responds:

Hopefully this summer or sometime after, i have a 4 month break for school so i'll deff try and bust out chapter V then.


Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Pretty cool!!!

The animation is not choppy like people said in some reviews and it is one of the best I've seen. But the art is average at best, and the acting is better than I expected for an amateur vid but is not the best mind you. The only fault is the character art, I find it very so-so but I've seen worser LOL.


Rated 5 / 5 stars


I strongly disagree with sour777 this deserves a 10 hands down, not many people can smoothen out animation this well, im not going to say it was the best because i think we've all seen better but the only thing i'd say you truely need to work on is the voice acting and the audio effects, also i give you a 10 because when a series usually starts out the creator slowly but surely begins to improve on animation and design as the series progresses and i believe you have the potential to do so, keep up the good work.

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