shroogy the alien prequil

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This is Schroogy. A very hungry alien who eats anything to gain energy! He arrived from a strange planet far, far away unto this earth! His first approach really sets in your heart!

Hello everyone! Thank you for whatching by the way! If anyone wonders. I and Icandraw are the once illustartion and creating the flash. I was also the one who made the music! (also thanks to indangerD who did the guitar riffs!) SkilledBrush was the one writing the story!

Hope to see you soon! And pleas leave a review! And also, more Schroogy coming up!

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It's great that you let me do the audio for the next flash, and I'd be happy to. The animation is great, has some room for improvement, such as the bird standing up immediately, and the music was very interesting but to me, the opening music was a bit... awkward. But it was pretty good, don't get me wrong.

lgnxhll responds:

thank you im sure your audio will make the next one much better

Too short

The animation is simple but effective. The landing part looks quite good and the swallowing of the bird as well. The "fart out the feather"-part is a bit unclear and I didn't realize what was supposed to go on if I hadn't read the script.

However, the animation was too short and I think it would've been better if you showed a bit more. Maybe like how Shroogy gets familiar with the environment and with the bird before he eats him.

The extra-section was a nice addition. It was interesting to read the script because it cleared some things up for me, but I think the text could have been bigger.

Also the buttons need some work. Right now only the text is clickable, but not the space in between the characters. It's quite hard to click the buttons because the font you used has very thin lines. There are tutorials for buttons on NG and I suggest that you read them to create buttons that are more easy to click in the future. ;)

{ Review Request Club }

lgnxhll responds:

thank you

Errmmmm, Lemme See

The Animation wasn't bad but the stroyline runied it all, which is reason 1 for your low score.
Reason 2 is the choice of Music, i know it's flash but if u see my signature you'll know why.
3 is for the suckish menus, they look like my cousin could have done 'em and he's 1 years old.
Overall, good animation, sorta but needs work, a lottttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<Deejay> <---------Signature, Y'see?
Review Request Club

lgnxhll responds:

sorry about the music would you like to compose for the next one if so pm me

Review Request Club

I think this submission could use some improvements and maybe some more animation because number 1, I didn't get anything until I saw the script, and number 2, it was WAY too short so I will start on the review:

ART 4/10

The art was ok I guess but you could work on that shading because it doesn't seem that good. The sky and everything was good but you could put in a bit more details like some trees in the background or he is in some forest or something. I don't know but get creative! Also, please work on the buttons because it is just text that has been converted into a button.


The animation wasn't all that great and needs some work but I also thought it was weird that someone else took half of the animation too so I can't give you 100 % credit on that. But try to find more animating techniques
I didn't think the animation was all that great. Also, it was kind of fast-paced like when the meteor crashes, he comes out immediately instead of wondering what the heck happened.

STORY 5/10

So I saw the script and the extras to find something to review about but I stumbled upon some awesome writing and I think SkilledBrush should have gotten more credit! (Wait, skilled brush? I thought he just made a script!) But it was sad that I didn't know what was going on from that animation to script which means it wasn't really following it.

AUDIO 3/10

I really think there should have put more audio in this because I saw this for the first time and I thought that as a good song choice but there was nothing in the middle and the end! There's really no point of putting in music if you are only going to put it in the beginning!


Like I said, this needs work but why is this under comedy? I found no part funny at all! I hope the series gets better but try to spell right because I can actually get first impressions from that. Just try to make it better and put a little more art into this because this could get a good score if you tried...

-Joshsouza (RRC Signature at top!)

~ Review Request Club ~

~ Animation ~

Hm, there really wasn't enough animation for me to see anything worthwhile. I went through and read your script and to be honest I envisioned something beautiful and detailed. The animation really didn't follow suit or the script that well. More detailed animations with things going on in the backgrounds and eyes moving, etc... The small things were really missing in my opinion.

~ Graphics ~

I recommend working on the text used for buttons and the symbols used for arrows. They were pretty sloppy. The words for the characters section were also quite sloppy. The words for the script were a bit small as well, but just big enough for me to read them without straining.

The drawings weren't that bad. They have a little bit of room for improvement, but they really aren't that bad. Most of the things bad with the graphics had to do with the presentation and organization.

~ Story/Content ~

Like I mentioned before the animation really didn't follow the script that you wrote. The script is really good though and if you would have animated as well as the script was written then I would have really been interested in this series. Since you didn't though the other way to get around it would be to make a bit longer.

I don't really get what the comic section has to do with the rest of the submission, but perhaps having more of them instead of just one picture would have been better. Another thing that I didn't quite understand was the farting part. A burp would have been so much better, but to be completely honest that part was terrible choppy and I couldn't tell what it was without the script.

~ Audio ~

I think that the audio needs a lot of work. The songs that you picked were good, but you had trouble with the transitions really bad with that big quiet part right in the middle. Sound effects were pretty good though.

~ Overall ~

You have a lot of things to clean up, but with work this could be an interesting series. As of right now this didn't interest me in coming back to watch it again. Keep on working though.

~ Review Request Club ~

Credits & Info

2.38 / 5.00

Feb 9, 2010
4:37 PM EST
Comedy - Original