Giant Laser Jesus

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*Edit: Hell yeah, I got into a collection for the FIRST TIME EVAR! Thanks everyone for suggesting it!

Hey guys! This is my submission for Christmas '09. In this game, Jesus has returned, to TAKE... BACK... CHRISTMAS!

The evil Ultra-Pope is causing havoc, so God sent down his son Jesus to put a stop to it. Did I mention that Jesus is now 20 stories tall and shoots lasers? Well, he is 20 stories tall and shoots lasers. Not like shoop da whoop lasers; eye lasers.

Anyway, the object of the game is to survive as long as possible and get a high score (there is an online leaderboard, by the way). To get points, destroy buildings by punching them and kill enemies with lasers. All enemies can be killed with lasers. If you can't seem to get an enemy to die, try using lasers in a different way. The longer you last, the harder the game gets, and eventually you will get to fight the Ultra-Pope himself. Naturally, awesomeness ensues. Since I am obsessed with easter eggs, there is a secret box to insert a secret code that allows a secret thing to happen. Sssshhhhh.

Left mouse button to use lasers.
A and D keys to move left and right.
Spacebar punches.
T toggles music.
Q toggles quality.

This took me like, two months of not non-stop work, so be sure to play it, leave a comment, and check out all of this year's other christmas submissions. Happy politically correct holidays everyone!

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jesus is REALLY a threath...
but not so lethal one...
MADNESS COMBAT (watch now!)

nbomb you're so dense. It's TOTALLY snarking Jesus. You're right about it not being a fun game though, but if you think this game is "religious", I wonder what you think the author's idea of being "saved" is. Only those with the juiciest livers will be saved. Bua ha ha (quote from raptor Jesus from sexual-lobster there).

Simple fact is that the enemies simply come at you too fast for your puny eye beams to kill off fast enough, and there's no up or down control, so there's no evading their attacks. There's no variability in the game, you just shoot beams at the enemies in their vulnerable spots and try to delay the inevitable as long as you can, which won't be very long. But the game is at least good just as a snark at the religion, and I'm all down with that.

sac religious, hard, unempathetic and not very fun in general. i don't know about you but i'm not impressed.

Really good Jesus game however I feel Jesus needs more forec powers and special super abilities since he is a wizard. Keep up the good work.


liked the ending

UberCream responds:

There are actually two different endings. Which one you talkin' 'bout?

Credits & Info

3.64 / 5.00

Dec 5, 2009
2:26 PM EST
Action - Other