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Peach's Swamp Romp: ep 3

rated 2.01 / 5 stars
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Credits & Info

Nov 22, 2009 | 2:55 PM EST

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Author Comments

...After trudging through smelly reeds, mud, quicksand, Peach was lucky enough to find a special warp Pipe that'll take her home but, she'll have to come back later to make paths leading to it in case someone else get lost in the Mudhole Marsh...

Sprites and Mudhole Marsh Bonus Backgrounds are from The Spriters Resource.

I'm still getting used to flash CS4 so don't judge me to badly..



Rated 0 / 5 stars

Reviewing a noob?

Just because you're new to this doesn't mean you don't suck.

Some tips...
It was very short time wise as well as in the sense that nothing happened, you should make more events happen, and instead of making a bunch of very short episodes just make one long flash, it's much more enjoyable.

Still in terms of events, think about it, what happened in here...
She "found" the pipe? No she didn't, she walked for a few seconds and it just happened to be there. There's no story line or anything.

Also either make the text stay long enough for us to read it, or find out how to pause it and put a continue button. (When you finished this and watched it were YOU able to read the text?(particularly the last one))

The peach sprite was pretty small, you should make it bigger. And when the scenes switche to the one with the pipe, the sprite changes (to a sprite with water ripples around her) you should keep the sprite the same for consistency.

After it is finished you should have it stop. And hopefully if you have made it long enough, then you should the credits in, to yourself for making it as well as where you got the sprites and the music. A replay button wouldn't hurt either.

And the story line? I can't REALLY judge this because you should be able to make a story about whatever the hell you want but... I personally don't think a flash about peach lost in a swamp is going to be very interesting. ESPECIALLY if you don't know how to use flash.

Honestly I get that you're just starting but people giving this three's and four's out of ten are giving you much more then you deserve.
You probably shouldn't be submitting your animations unless they are any good. How do you know if it's any good? Just watch some animations on Newgrounds, and compare them to yours, then think about whether or not yours is any good.
You honestly didn't think people could like this right?
I know I'm being critically harsh but seriously??
I'm not even going to give you a one for effort because I really don't think tried hard at all. I think if you really wanted to, with a tiny bit of thinking and hard work, you could make a good flash.

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Spikeballclock responds:



Rated 1.5 / 5 stars


i like that you added a play button but use the one from newgrounds it looks soo much better and i still can't read the dialog because it disappears too fast. mainly i just agree with what ilikeorangejuicelots said.


Rated 2 / 5 stars

Not gonna cut it...

Just because you are learning flash doesn't mean you get immunity from blam. Try to work to your talents when making flash. For instance, make it funny, make it immersible, or spend a lot of time on the graphics. That way you do your best on every flash and those tend to be liked because it shows your effort. All you did here was throw sprites, music, and a background together. The only thing I see that took any amount of effort was the play button... and really.
I'm not trying to be a douche to you. I don't even have any flash up yet. I just think you should spend more time. Make it a goal to spend at least a week or so and spend a lot of time on it. Make it perfect to the best of your ability.

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Spikeballclock responds:

.... then may my spikes stick you where it'll hurt the most...


Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

To be honest..

It's an interesting idea, but the story seems to pick up out of nowhere. From the first one you give no reason as to why Peach is trekking through a swamp.. much less who the other person was in the second flash. And I imagine you could put all three together into one film instead of making these short multiple submissions. Give it some more effort, put some feeling into the story.. and you might earn more than a 3/10.

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