Father's day - Penciw

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An animation i did for my dad on Fathers Day.
Mostly entertaining for those who know my dad.


it was good i liked it

i think it was cool and eciting and fun

Penciwthekid responds:

Thanks :)

yea it was nice

but with the heads as looking so nice, and the bodies looking so bad, it looked like the faces were traced from photographs, and the bodies are a reflection of your true artistic ability, so if you used a smaller, smoother brush for the bodies it would have been alot better, especially considering that most of this was loop after loop, when you cram a flash full of those kinds of loops, the loops need to be mr. clean here! you should have used more layers in the laptop because the bottom edge of the laptop looks like it was there, and then after the finger crossed over it you tried redrawing it how it used to be, but with a bigger brush so it didn't work out, and since like i said, a great portion of this cartoon was the dad in that 2 frame loop of hand up, then hand in a fist with one finger poking the keyboard, you neeed to clean that loop up, it's distracting. and you gotta go to findsounds.com or wherever to find little sound effects for the actions. and maybe when you have sound effects you can show the dad looking at the camera with a raised eyebrow at some point like "what are those kids doing?" and you can do the typical cartoon thing where you hear a bunch of commotion coming from where the kids are, and he stops and looks, but when he looks the noise stops, and as soon as he gets back to work the sound happens again, and this repeats a few times, the dad getting more frustrated everytime, until he goes out to look. and when he is walking out to look, you gotta have his head bounce a bit, it adds some character.
so yea, work on the bodies of the characters
the sound effects
and clean up them sketchy loops
keep it up!

Penciwthekid responds:

Thanks for all the excellent advice, Wam-bo-man!
I'll keep all this great feedback in mind for my next display of questionable talent.



Penciwthekid responds:


no sounds :(

It will be more better with some sound effects

People find this review helpful!
Penciwthekid responds:

Alas, I know.
I did not understand sounds when I was young and foolish.
For this I bang my head repeatedly against walls, whenever I see this.

Needs more audio.

Again the animation is good, and this one certainly seems to have more of a plot to it. A bit drawn out I thought though, and then when you finally decided to use audio you just about deafened me. Background music and sound effects are good, credit music is good, let's not use it as a weapon next time. :)

Penciwthekid responds:

thanks man. Will do. My version of flash's sound was acting up.

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Credits & Info

3.32 / 5.00

Nov 22, 2009
7:44 AM EST