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Author Comments

I hope u will enjoy :D i made it in 2 days :D Ihope u will enjoy :D

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Review Request Club

Definitely better than your "frozen banana" flash.

It had a nice simple storyline which was executed pretty well. But in saying that, I think the slow-motion of the last scene was too slow; if you were going to spend about a minute of the flash having him fall, I would have expected something extra visually to come with it, like flashes of memories of better times or something, instead of just having him slowly slowly fall for so long.

I liked the switches between the still frames and the lightly-animated scenes; it kind of created a difference between how trapped he felt in his life and how free he felt when jumping. You could exaggerate that even further by maybe making the colours less vibrant when he's at his job, or even the drawing itself even more sketchy and just...desolate, I guess.

I think with the still frames you could have done with a little more detail, or just some little variations just so when it does repeat, it doesn't get a full feeling of repetitiveness, like it starts to here.
This definitely shows potential for the future though, so keep working at it.

-Review Request Club

Icandraw responds:

:D i have potential ! yeay !


I think this is a decent flash. The basics are there: A story, some nice drawings, and the animations looked good as well.

But I think you need to work on the pacing a bit more. The beginning and the end scene where a bit too long for my linking.

Sure, the beginning of the flash showing the same thing over and over again is part of the story. But you could try to put some variations in there as well. Maybe cars passing by, the guy with the piece of paper in his hand holding something different, or laying something on the guys desk, etc. .

I felt it progressed too slowly at this point.

The ending scene is a bit too long as well. We can see him in the air for quite some time without him really falling. It seems as if he falls in super slowmotion. I think this could be a bit faster as well.

{ Review Request Club }

Icandraw responds:

thanks :/

Not bad

I think that you could have ended the piece better. The music sounded so sad, so it might have concluded slightly better if we'd have seen the guy hit the tarmac and bounce, leaving a bloody, battered corpse on the pavement.

Still, the massive amount of cheat used to get you from Monday to Wednesday made me think that you could have varied it slightly. Something slightly different to some of the backgrounds - The barbers could be closed on the Wednesday, there could be a calender in the office, the guy walking up the office could have a different coloured shirt or tie on etc. You wouldn't have to redraw everything, so not too much effort to get it all sorted and a little effort makes a big difference.

I think that there is definite hope for this one and a great deal of expression has gone into this piece as a whole, so keep up the good work.

[Review Request Club]

Icandraw responds:

hmmm :/


I was really impressed with the quality of this movie, because the most part of flash I review aren't as good as yours, I think the story was pretty cool, since it's awful doing the same thing every day, but I just think you could speed the begin, because I got bored with the same thing repeating in the same speed, you should make one day faster than other, it would look cooler and it would save some time.

The song choice was pretty nice, I liked the song, it fitted awesomely with the movie story, it's a bit sad and it has a happy sound, I really loved the choice.

The drawing wasn't bad, I kind of liked it, it's not static, the paper and the tie are pretty well animated, this proves that you cared with the movie, also, the chairs in the Barber shop are very cool, some other people would just make a glass, but you detailed it, and it counted so much.

The movie was cool, but you have potential to improve it and to show other things to us, keep it up, man, I expect more nice movies from you!! :D

(Review Request Club)

Icandraw responds:

Thanks man :D

~ Review Request Club ~

~ Animation/Graphics ~

Not too good in some parts and manageable in other parts. I think you should make this again and really take your time on it because if you did I have no doubt in my mind that it would win some sort of daily award. For the most part though the graphics weren't the best. The animation was decent, but I found that it was missing a lot of small movements that would have made it more detailed and better.

~ Story/Content ~

I found that this was too slow and really took too long. I know that you were trying to get the idea into our head that he does the same thing over and over again, but perhaps speed it up a bit just for the viewers sake. I think that we would have understood your point if you would have done it one less time.

Ah, I don't like those I have a bad life and I'm going to commit suicide things. I mean wtf... this guy has a beautiful house, enough money to eat everyday and to have really nice clothes, and an easy job. What the hell does he have to complain about? Maybe he should try living a life where he doesn't have food and he's starving, where the only water that he gets is dirty water that someone just bathed in, and his job only pays 6 cents a day. Those people don't complain about life as much as these types of people that your portrayed in your story here.

So I don't like the fact that this guy has a wonderful life compared to most people in the world and he goes and kills himself. Why not have it end happier? Have him see someone that's worst off then him and he realizes that he actually has a pretty good life. Sure repetitive at times, but it's his own fault for not doing something else. Hm, that was more of a rant than it was a review, but I think that the story really doesn't fit what people should be thinking in real life...

~ Audio ~

The song was really nice, but perhaps there was a little bit of room for more sound effects other than the alarm clock. It seems that the alarm clock was a nice way to start the animation so why not have another sound effect somewhere later in the flash? I don't think it's necessary, but it's an idea.

~ Overall ~

The graphics need a bit of work, the animation that you had was pretty decent, the story was just overdone and completely wrong in my opinion, and the audio was pretty good all around. This is really like a 6.4 or so and it's more about how I think the graphics were rushed than it is about anything else, so hopefully you aren't too upset about the score.

You definitely have a future on this site if you want to continue animating so please keep up the hard work!

~ Review Request Club ~

Icandraw responds:

ohh god ! thanks for detailed review
I am so happy cuz i learned my fault

Credits & Info

4.00 / 5.00

Oct 29, 2009
7:18 AM EDT