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Fathers Day Tribute

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Author Comments

so I gave FBF animation a try in this short 1-day-made flash and i have to tell you

this is basically a tribute to my dad and fathers day and is NOT suppost to have a storyline of any sort so critics leave it alone

PS the backround's glitched

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Sometimes no plot is a good thing, especially if there are other aspects of the flash to pick it up.

The animation and drawings, though simple, were good, so I don't see any problems there.

The music was average, but the sound effects themselves need adjustment.

The background didn't seem to fit too well with the drawings, so a drawn background I feel would have been better.

-Review Request Club-

Not too sure what to think about that

First of all, I liked the graphics. Some reviewers seemed to have critisized you for your drawings, but I don't think there's anything wrong with them.

But what I didn't like where those "bars" you used to indicate the "speed" or the "wind" while that chip flew through the air. They didn't seem to fit in there and at first I thought there was something wrong with my monitor.

Also the sound effects wheren't that good either, it got very annoying after a short while. A different sound that would also decrease in volume the slower the moving object gets would fit better here, I think.

Last but not least, I really don't know what this "arm & Hammer"-thing is supposed to be, so maybe I'm missing some very important part here...

Overall, the flash has it's downsides, but you mentioned you did this all in just one day. I have to say I'm impressed with what you can come up after only a days work.

{ Review Request Club }

What did he throw?

~ Animation/Graphics ~

I think the drawing style/art style that you had for the person was perfectly fine. Really showed off how you feel about your father perhaps as he's pretty big in this submission meaning you might think he's the strongest dad out there. :P

The drawing of.. whatever he threw.. wasn't done very well. It was pretty sloppy in my opinion. I liked the dust that you made for the object that he threw, but what I didn't like is the ground that you used. Why would you draw everything out by yourself and then throw a sprite/premade ground into it? Same with the arm and hammer thing. I think in this case that you should have done everything by hand or by yourself.

~ Story/Content ~

A tribute that shows your father that he's better than all of the other fathers because he's stronger. Perhaps more than just this one scene would have made it better. Such as him going around showing strengths no matter where he goes or what he does.

Maybe such as him lifting up a wrecked car to save someone underneath of it, robbing a thief and giving it to charity, etc.. You could have even went further with this thing here and made it so he was throwing at the Olympics and stuff and that he threw much farther than any other father. Maybe then you could have made the object that he threw into a discus or something? (Of course they don't count bouncing/sliding in the Olympics.

Something that I really didn't like or think looked good was the air/wind that you had going by. Just didn't seem very fitting to me and it looked odd. Just a blur effect would have done it I think.

~ Audio ~

The sound effects that you used for this submission sounded really good and I didn't have any problems with them at all. I do think though you could have had the sound of people cheering and a victory sound at the end when we got his total distance on the throw.

~ Overall ~

I think the biggest thing that could have improved was the time that you took on this. You said it was a one day thing, but if you would have started way before you could have added much more content to the submission. Not bad overall though. Keep on working.

~ Review Request Club ~

naronic responds:

he was punching a target

I wanted to finish this in a day and I really didn't think the ground or the air mattered that much :P
just a short tribute to my dad

thanks for the review
(review request club ROCKS!)


Well, the drawing style needs an additional tweak - try zooming in more to give you a greater degree of control over the outcome of the image. When you zoom back out, big lines will look smaller and will have given greater attention to the detail.

I think that it's a little weak on the plot, with the 'father figure' being able to throw something 651Km I think it bounced and pitched (rolled end to end) more than it needed, as the friction would have killed the momentum long before.

I'm not entirely sure about the arm & Hammer reference, but to keep things in perspective, it just seemed unnecessary to me.

[Review Request Club]

naronic responds:

once again NO PLOT
yeah, I was pondering using my Vcam in this movie but decided against it for time sake

I really don't see anything wrong with my drawing style as everyone says it needs tweaking...
but the arm and hammer seems like it fits doesn't it?

thank you for the review :)

Good speed effect.

Art/Animation: 6/10
This wasn't too bad really. You captured the effect of speed very well, and everything was easy to see..You used a bit too many filters though. Another thing that bugged me was the end, with the Bitmap image and the other shabbily drawn handwriting. A normal font would have sufficed for that.

Plot/Concept: 3/10
I know you're saying it's not meant to have a plot, but that's not really an excuse, to be honest. Y'know, I could submit an audio track with no sound, and just say it wasn't meant to have sound, but that wouldn't stop it being crap.

I don't know your father, but if he likes throwing stuff, then maybe it would be great for him..

Audio/Music: 7/10
I think you did this quite well, really. Everything fit, and made the action better. Not the best sound quality, but that's not a big deal.

Overall: 5/10
You were let down by the lack of plot.

[Review Request Club]

naronic responds:

sound is what makes an audio submission an audio submission
ANIMATION is what makes a flash a flash, not storyline

you mentioned in your review that my handwriting was bad
not that that's an offense but do you know how ANNOYING it is to work with font? It cuts of phrases and letters CONSTANTLY and you end up having to size it down to the point where you can hardly see it.
I don't know how to change sound quality but it sounded fine when I streamed the timeline.

thanks for the review anyways
your critique is appreciated

Credits & Info

2.50 / 5.00

Jun 22, 2009
12:36 AM EDT