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This is a short music video I made, just to practice flash. It's my first thing on NG, so please give me some constructive criticism on how I can improve!

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Cool in someways :D

The preload is awesome :P
Maybe some newground logos and links would help to get Fulps attension ^_^
But too few frames, and the music was scary ._.
And overall, I didnt get it o_O
But hey, everyone has to start with something :3

TheIncredibleD responds:

Thanks! I am particularly proud of the preloader.
I suppose I should add some newgrounds logos ect, I'll do that next time.
I thought the music was scary too, thats why I chose it. It was a very short peice, too, I'll chose something longer next time.

Improve!

A nice video
The combination between the movie and the song is very good
Try to have ideas or post in the forum so that the ppl on newgrounds help you
The walls could have a diferent colour
Try to make a characther thats not stick
Why is it green?

Good for starter

Good Luck!

3/5 65/100

TheIncredibleD responds:

Why is it green? I wanted to experiment with a green-on-black style, like one of those 80's computers. And, yeah I agree I should have spent more time on making a non-stick character, but this was made in like, five or six hours. My bad.

PRetty good for a first try.

I've certainly seen worse 1st submissions to Newgrounds so good job on that. As far as your cartoon goes, try working with more movement in your animations. Movement, even subtle ones, holds the audience's interest even during slow scenes.

Other than that, nice first attempt. Go for gold and make it longer, more animated, and with more color next time!

TheIncredibleD responds:

I will do that, next time. Walking, ect.
I do admit I slacked a bit in this, I was just messing around really, but I thought I'd put it up here to see what you people think. As for colour, I was experimenting a bit, but I think in my next one I will have more colour. This was just sort of built around the preloader.

too short

everything was good, until it abruptly ended. You should have had more of a story or something.

TheIncredibleD responds:

Ended abruptly? Thats where the song ends. It's a very short song, I will choose a longer one next time.

For a first timer...

.. it wasn't all too bad, you didn't really had a strong story or a very good character built, but overall it wasn't too shabby.

Your flash drawings weren't aweful (they could improve) but you should really focus on getting a storyline. Get a storyline, make it funny/serious/sad enough and you'll have yourself a nice vid scoring 3+/5 easily.

Keep practising and you'll have some nice videos in no-time.

TheIncredibleD responds:

Yeah, looking back I agree with you. Next time, I will concentrate more on storyline and character building. Also, I slacked a bit by giving him a stick-body.

Credits & Info

Views
3,282
Votes
5
Score
2.80 / 5.00

Uploaded
May 23, 2009
3:54 PM EDT