Short again

I think the punchline here isn't as good as in the Red Bull parts. ,As I've said in my other review in my opinion short flashes only work with a hilarious and unexpected punchline. Now, this flash isn't bad, but a longer build up would be nice. You could put some jokes into the build up already and then come up with the main joke of the flash. Maybe showing how the character walks aorund in the streets and then entering the bar (you could throw in some funny scenes on the streets) or show the bar from the outside and then zoom in slowly, showing some other customers on your way to the bar and what they talk about.

The backgrounds where a lot better here, though, at least for the first part. For the other two parts you went back to single coloured backgrounds, unfortunatly.

{ Review Request Club }

Decent effort

Animation: Wasn't the greatest in the world but it was a very nice effort you had put into it to give people a decent chuckle anyways. However if you're stil lworking on flash it's a decent start off anyways.

Storyline: I'm guessing there's no real plot, just a couple of random parts here and there.

Audio: You speaking of course, sounds kind of silly on the last piece, indeed that one was silly.

Overall: Still a lot of improvement that can be done in the art area, spend some time getting more use t o drawing with a mouse and then come back and make a new flash, good luck.

Review Request Club

SCTE3

Short and incoherent in a bad way.

Hello,
I must say the voice acting was pretty solid.

Unfortunately the rest was severely lacking.
The animation was pretty bad, although I did like the animated text.

The non-sequential humor you were going for didn't work at all,
very few people can pull off "random" humor, and those that do get away with it, do so often by presenting truly bizarre, and often times graphic drawings.

A good example would be the work of John K, but even his work carries a minor setup.

The drawings were very basic, in humor based work that can sometimes work in ones favor, this time however it doesn't.

The length was very short, and the piece at the end didn't do anything for me...

Work on these things and you'll have a significantly better piece in the future.

Thanks,
- Celx
~Review Request Club~

Too short

Well, it's a decent animation, but you really do need to work on the following points:

1) Subtitles - you're having the words appear adjacent to the characters that speak them. We can hear them loud and clear, plus the lip sync isn't all that bad. Perhaps try something that makes them look more uniform. I'd suggest the traditional black bar and nice, easily readable typeface that makes the piece look professional.

2) Plot - it's a little short. Some buildup to the scene might be needed, like having the bartender serving another customer, the juke box playing in the background, a few snippets of conversation taking up those big, awkward silences that you've currently got. Then have him approach the guy and ask the question.

3) I'm not sure why you put that Electromagnetism gag in at the end,but it's reasonably funny - it kind of reminds me of Monty Python, with the way that the crosses the fourth wall. Steps like this work, but it would be a nicer setup if it was an easter egg - hide a button somewhere in the flash, which would launch that scene.

I look forward to seeing how your pieces improve.

[Review Request Club]

Decent animation, humor could use improvement

Your animation was alright, but I'd recommend working a bit more on some fluid character movement. I didn't really find the humor that funny, which was probably supposed to be the highlight of this animation.

Don't despair, though! I'd suggest planning and refining a script, preferably a longer one. You might want to answer some of these questions: Why does the man tell the bartender to back off? Could there be more people in the bar? What are each of these people's personalities like?

Answering questions about characters personalities is a vital part of any comedic script, and even giving characters a distinct feel in something as short as this can make it more enjoyable. Work at it, and you'll get better, I assure you. Rome wasn't built in a day.

[Review Request Club]