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Sari and her Bear at 5:30

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Author Comments

Well, I sorta hope it ends up with a good score like my last Sari video... I can't say my others have been getting good scores lately.


By the way, that great music is from http://incompetech.com/m/
c/royalty-free/ and there are lots more royalty-free songs there.

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5SS-PsychoWiLL

i agree. and think he respectfully approached the issues which could be overcome with a little more work, and a little less rushing for the publics sake. more work could have gone into it. it wasnt very well paced. although i did like the window bit.. very funny. i LOLd.
GOOD POINTS.
the charatcers are lovable and cute. the story is interesting although it is not clearly defined. I liked the old crayon pictures on the walls from previous episodes.

i think all reviews so far have been reasonable, and fair. opinion matters. and it is nice to have work admired, or spoken highly of. but it wont help you to improve. 5SS-PhsychoWiLL is the only one so far to submit ACTAUL material to work from. so if anything HE/SHE! should be the only one with "helpful" ticked.
well done. and i hope to see more animations that you improve on.. dont rush them please. i want to see your potential, not quick pump. :D:D:D good ideas.

Erg, try again...

Where do I start?
It felt kind of frustrating... the story didn't make any sense.

1. Why was Sari up so early in the morning?
2. If Sari is so bent on waking the others, then why does she run away?
3. How did it take almost a half hour to jump out her window, and get into 'Others' room?
4. Daylight saving time typically pushes the time forward ONE hour, so it should have been approx 6:37 am, on that guy's clock.
5. Although I HAVE seen worse run cycles, that definitely needs work. If you want help, there's plenty of tips online, or I'll be glad to help.
6. The part where Sari appears on the hanging lamp is confusing, and uncomfortable.
Furthermore, unless that 'Other' guy has no peripheral vision, he should be able to see Her, unless he was staring directly at the floor.
7. This is the worst: Sari falls through the floor (very easily, I might add) and back into her own room. However, her room was in the room ABOVE this room. That doesn't make any sense!
8. I think you could improve the sound quality. It's way too fuzzy.
9. The blur feature was a bit overused. I think too many animators are overusing it, nowadays...
10. The lip syncing could use some more mouth shapes, but the simple style is fine, and the timing was pretty good, so I'm not complaining!

I hope in the next flash you produce, you take more consideration into the story, and spend more time on animation.

Pahgawk responds:

Gee, thanks for the review. Seriously, it's not everyday that I get one that's actually helpful. I just noticed the fact that she falls through the floor into her room after going DOWN from her room originally... well, I'll definately use your tips for next time.

I must be going soft...

I gave this a 5 just for the effort that went into it :) It may not be front page or any such thing but from the time and thought that went into it I'd say it is better than 90% of the other flash to make it through the portal.

it was...

quite good

That was cool

Very nicely done. Doesn't quite hit the 10 5 ratio, but it's very cool

Credits & Info

Views
4,241
Faves:
2
Votes
10
Score
2.79 / 5.00

Uploaded
Apr 4, 2009
12:34 PM EDT