Didn't really work..

Art/Animation: 3/10
There wasn't anything here that was any good. The characters were pretty simple and boring. The fire effect wasn't bad, but it didn't loop properly. Sometimes, the subtitles went by too quickly to read fully.

Plot/Concept: 3/10
I didn't find it funny, to be honest..The build up was too slow and boring, and the punchline just wasn't funny enough to even it out.

Sound/Music: 4/10
The music was alright, but didn't add much to the flash..When the third guy came in, the music stopped for a bit too long before the second track came on.
Some voice actors would have been nice too.

Overall: 3/10
It wasn't funny, nor well animated. Nothing appealed to me..

[Review Request Club]

Hmm...

It's not bad, but it could do with a few more bits and pieces, just to develop the animation a bit further.

Perhaps the use of shapes is a good base to start with for the drawing of the chibi, but I'm not sure if you should leave them like that - get the drawing tools and fill in the gaps between the ellipses, as it will make the imagery look so much more advanced.

Perhaps taking a little more time with the football would be the next thing, as the laces shouldn't be that long and the ball should end in points, with hoops around either end. These small details will make the world of difference.

Then the plot - perhaps the fire chibi could have run away, or the greenish one could have tried in vain to dive for cover. I'm sure that as this was just a pilot, you'll be giving a more in depth plot to future episodes.

[Review Request Club]

Good attempt

So this is your first real flash? Yeah, I can tell you put a lot of work into it.
Of course it doesn't look as good as flashes in the top 50, but I'm really those artist too started out creating simple movies like this.

There are a lot of details here that I like. For example the eyelids. You used them in a very good way to show the feelings of the characters. It's a simple but very effective way to show how a character feels about a certain thing.

Also, the story was nice, too. It's simple yes. But at least you didn't just have a bunch of characters killing each other. Well yes, that one guy gets killed, but it's not like the whole flash only consits of mindless killing.

So, keep practicing and I'm sure that you will create much better flashes in the very near future. :)

{ Review Request Club }

Quite good for your first flash.

Pretty good job on it overall. Needs some work in some aspects, though.

The graphics were OK, especially that of the Fire Chibi, but the background was just the Windows default background with different colour, and the Chibi's in general need some working on, especially making sure the arms are attatched to the body. The Tangled Chibi could look a little better if you made the things around him look better than just lines. I really liked the artwork of the explosion, though. I liked how you made the Chibi's have different face expressions. The animation was smooth and quite good, especally the bomb exploding, the Fire Chibi's head, and the explosion fading away. Still, the speech bubbles disappeared much too quickly and it was hard to read through them so quicky. You should make it that a speech bubble disappears when you press the space bar or something.

The story was a little hard to catch on, and I didn't really know what the race really is until I read the Author's Comments after. Also, what was the place they were in, and why were they happy to be there first? I think you should give this flash a bit more of an introduction. The humour was OK, but nothing too special. I chuckled a bit when it said 'Must resist urge to kill', but that was really it. The concept of planting a bomb in a seemingly ordinary item, giving it to someone, and then they throw it back is a little unoriginal. Still, the concept of the Chibi's in general, after reading the Author's Comments, sounds good.

The audio, in my opinion, could be a little louder, but I'm surprised by the file size that this flash has after having two different songs in it, so good job over there. The song choice was fine, but the first song changing to the second didn't have such a smooth transition.

In general, it's great for your first flash, but needs some work to it. A good start, though. Keep it up.
5/10
3/5

-Review Request Club-

~ Review Request Club ~

~ Animation/Graphics ~

Hm, some things weren't too bad such as the flame stuff on the red guys head. That was animated decently. The background, even though you didn't make it, looked rather good in the submission in my opinion. The characters could have been developed a bit better though.

I think the best thing to do to make the characters better would simply be getting rid of the black lines around the outside of the character (stuck out on the arms the most) and make them seem more attached.

~ Story/Content ~

Hm, total lack of humor. There might have been some stuff in there that was funny, but it seemed more like inside jokes more than anything else so it's hard for the public to get stuff. The best comedy is jokes that everyone can get and then a few inside jokes sprinkled along every now and then.

Sometimes the text moved way to fast to read comfortable. It was possible to read, but still went by too fast. The grey text that was used was also a little hard to read as it meshed with the background. Perhaps you could make a transparent black subtitle bar on the bottom of the screen so you can still see things behind it, but with white letters on top of the subtitle bar it'll be rather easy to read.

Also, a couple of other things such as animated birds, animals, etc.. something going on in the background might add a nice extra touch to the submission.

~ Audio ~

The music was pretty good in my opinion. The change between songs wasn't the best though and could be worked on to be a tad bit smoother. Maybe even looking into a voice actor or two along with a lip syncing tutorial could help make the submission a tad bit better.

~ Overall ~

I think the mediocre animation/graphics and the complete lack of an interesting plot made this a poor submission. The graphics can be improved with time, but the plot really needs to be improved to keep people wanting to watch something such as this.

~ Review Request Club ~