Don't try to make jokes when you HAVE NONE IN MIND
Man, what a shame. You had a funny premise, with the guy's last requests being errands, and almost everything in the main battle scene was funny. The voice acting was great and it felt like a good Home Movies sequence. But the break-aways had no real jokes and were not funny at all, with the first one with the dry-cleaning being the worst offender. The voice acting even seemed worse in them. They're like really bad duet improv. They suck. I think if you took the cut-aways out completely, and just had the main dying scene, this would be a really good cartoon. They're that pointless.
Although it is tempting to brush off the negativity in your review, I honestly do see some valid points and I understand where you are coming from.
I will say in defense however that jokes do not always have to follow the typical "setup-punchline" format, and that we often find humor in the subtle discomfort of situations and in the timing and intonation of lines, much like one would see on "The Office" (British or American). It is in that vein that the cutaway scenes were written. Perhaps you do not enjoy that humor, perhaps you just didn't think they were well executed, or perhaps it was a mistake to intersperse them between scenes of goofy absurdist humor.
Whatever the case may be, it is obvious that those scenes did not work for you, which I can understand, however I don't think your overall assessment is completely accurate. I do hope however that you saw enough potential in our work to draw you back to watch our other and future cartoons, as you very well may find one of them more enjoyable.
Thanks for your review.
It's like a fucking episode of Family Guy, stringing together a bunch of gags and hoping for a rise. Well you got like one genuine laugh out of me, and for NG that's pretty weak, but the animation was fairly good and the voice acting was, honestly, outstanding compared to most things on this site. Good job, jut get better jokes next time and you're sure to get a 10 from me.
Sorry this one wasn't quite your taste. As I've said before, this isn't exactly our style of comedy either, but we like to constantly change it up and flex our comedic muscles in all areas considered funny.
We were conscious of the "Family Guy" similarities, however we tried to make our cutaways a bit more fluid than the whole "Remember the time" and we tried to give them purpose and relation to the scene at hand rather than throwing something random in your face in a hope to make you laugh. We are well aware of the reasons to criticize Family Guy because of this, and we are right there criticizing with you, but it is a valid narrating technique when done properly, it just automatically gets labeled as "Family Guy" when it is animated.
I am extremely happy that you were able to find some sense of quality in our short with the voice acting and animation and I hope you will check out more of our flashes as they are all different and I believe you may like some of the others better.
Thanks for the review.
Great Job the direction is tight
yay i just found myself a new fav =D this was briliant!
It's not Sprites, Shapes, or Stick figures.
Voice acting was great, but it was like watching only the mouth move... then every now and then there would be another animation. More animation for face movement like you did for his wife would be better.
Already read a few of your reply's, I understand its flash, and your learning no problem that's why you post here for reviews
Thanks for reading other reviews. I try to respond to every one that has something to say and it can sometimes be tedious responding to the same comments ten times.
I am working on adding more movement to the cartoons and making it smoother. The next one I am going back to animating in a style similar to "Merry Sketchmas" so that should be a much more active piece than this one.
Thanks for the review and for the helpful comments.