I don't want to discourage you

I like to think that everybody has potential, so here are some tips if you intend to continue this series of yours.

First off, make sure that you are really gonna use sprites. People don't appreciate sprites unless there is something special backing them up (story, voice acting, cool animations, etc.) Consider adding sound effects, music, anything to break the silence (it really makes a big difference.

Add spice to your submission like vibrant backgrounds, the aforementioned sounds, or you could even try to draw the characters yourself and not be limited by the sprites.

Try not to have "frozen screens". Try to give each and every frame some movement, whether that be cloud moving, birds flying, energy sparkling, whatever. It's also not a bad idea to give the speech panels a "next" button.

Good luck.

Not bad

needs sound tho. you should also watch what you type there are some spelling errors that need correcting. Thank you for actually having some kind of storyline. I see to many submissions that just lose me but i know whats goin on in your flash. other than what i mentioned earlier this was not a bad submission keep up the good work.

Not bad

Not bad it could do with some sound though, even just background music would be good