I don't want to discourage you
I like to think that everybody has potential, so here are some tips if you intend to continue this series of yours.
First off, make sure that you are really gonna use sprites. People don't appreciate sprites unless there is something special backing them up (story, voice acting, cool animations, etc.) Consider adding sound effects, music, anything to break the silence (it really makes a big difference.
Add spice to your submission like vibrant backgrounds, the aforementioned sounds, or you could even try to draw the characters yourself and not be limited by the sprites.
Try not to have "frozen screens". Try to give each and every frame some movement, whether that be cloud moving, birds flying, energy sparkling, whatever. It's also not a bad idea to give the speech panels a "next" button.