hmmm
reeally good so far, but it seems rather inconclusive and unfinished. add music and visual cues to let the audience truly knows where your idea begins and ends. also, I wanted to say that this is really nice frame by framing. It may seem productive to get feedback before the final submission is done, but when you put out the final one, it may get a deceptively lower rating, because if people have already seen the "preview" the final piece may seem less novel.