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-> PANCAKES!!! <-

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I am a genius.


Space to jump. hold space to do an awesome NINJA SPIN.
Press CTRL to shoot your salad gun.
Use the arrow keys to walk.

Please do not take this game seriously. It is meant to be a game that makes you laugh. The graphics are supposed to be the way they are, because I can't draw any better lol. I started this game when I was 14, and finished it at the age of 15. It took me about a year and a half to make because i knew nothing about Flash. about 1000 lines of coding and some final adjusments later, I finally finished it. My FIRST GAME EVER WAS FINALLY COMPLETED! HUZZA!

But then some angry gerbils came to my house later that night and stole it from me. I awoke with a huge psychopathic frown upon my face. I started screaming and hollering and jabbing things into my wall. *I never have been able to find my cat since this indecent* Then I heard the doorbell ring. I opened the door and found myself staring face to face with the most hideous looking child I have ever seen in my life. "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" I screamed at the child. She just stared at me for like 5 freaking hours so I grabbed the nearest toaster and threw it at her. So now I find my self with a torn up house, no toast because the toaster is broken, and without a flash game that I have worked on for over a year. Well thats just great.

So I turned on the T.V. to see if anything worth watching was on. AND THERE I SAW IT. My flash game in all its glory. It was in a commercial with one of the evil hippos.. er.. gerbils? Yeah gerbils. It was on the T.V. with one of those evil gerbils carrying it saying BUY NOW!!! At this point I am not sure what happened... I sort of jumped out of my chair and flew through the ceiling. Well anyway the room turned blue and I jumped out of my window and ran like a maniac through town.

So I ran through town and knocked over 50 fruit stands, because that sort of thing has to happen if you run through town like a maniac, and then hurled myself into the nearest hardware store to get some weapons of mass destruction. Like a chainsaw. I grabbed a chainsaw and ripped some people to shreds because I was bored, and then I ran out of the store to see if I could find the evil gorillas that stole my game.

I sat next to a McCrapalds with a look on my face that told anyone who came near me, "I want to devour your children and throw you in a meat grinder". Just then, an extremley ugly old man came up and threw some holy water on me. I stood up, looked in his general direction, and then snapped his arms off. "Well that wasn't very nice," he said to me with a sad face. I responded with ripping both his legs off. So now I am sitting next to a McCrapolds with a frown upon my face that says, "I hate everyone and hope you die in a fire," with a torso of a very ugly old man next to me. The old man couldn't really go anywhere, so he just started talking about his grand children.

It just so happened that his grand children were the evil kamikaze flying giraffes that stole my game! I screamed in his face, "WHERE DO THEY LIVE?!" He told me they lived somewhere in Nevada. So I ripped off his head and thanked the old fart for his information. I then attacked the nearest pedestrian and stole his clothes for no apparent reason. With these clothes in my hand and a look of eagerness upon my face, I took ran off to Nevada.

Want to know how I got my game back? I'LL TELL YOU LATER. Play the game already! >:U

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life affirming, genius

wtf loading. 5 stars

I just came here 7 years later just to find the music. Other than that this is just a shitpost.

My expired potato chips fell into the keyboard and I can't get 'em XO.... time for me to start rampaging through the city >:B

lolz :P

lol the reading thing when the game loads made me chuckle, i got up before i even clicked on the game to get 3 cheese sticks, i luv cheese :D but the game is ok but the death is just weird