unhm
yeah i didn't even watch the whole thing it was that boring... you need t speed things up and animate better. that voice is also really crappy. just work on animating more and a faster pace.
2/5
Author Comments
my first flash submission here. it was an animation i did for school but i ran out of time to finish it :P
Bruce was helping hurricane victims in Mexico and on his way home, he met a man named Pepe who needed some help. Pepe asked if Bruce would help him and his family over the border. Bruce eventually agreed to it and so one evening, as planned, he drove to the spot to meet Pepe. But the US border patrol seems to get the best of 'em.
this isn't my best work. i had to tween the crap outta most of it. but i think it ended up in the ballpark i was hoping. lol, the first little shot- 3 1/2 hours of work XD
Please rate fairly, and reviews are more than welcome!^^
(the song is No Turning Back by Stratovarius
Looks promising.
The animation was good for your first submission. It seemed very spooky at first, but it seemed to lighten-up as the movie went on. The characters were well drawn, especially Bruce. I liked it when he was running with his arms flapping in the air, it made me laugh. You could probably include the plot for this movie in the flash instead of in the author comments, it would definately tie up some loose ends. I look forward to seeing the whole episode, keep up the great work!
Neon-Crepth responds:
HAHAHHAHAAHHAA, i can not believe you gave me a ten! dag yo...
Ok...
Well, you took the time to give me somewhat "constructive" criticism so I figured I'd return the favor.
I think I'll start with what was on everyone else's mind when they started to watch this. Preloaders help. That way it doesn't freeze when loading and people can actually FOLLOW the story. Being someone who finds being able to follow the story very important, I'm sure you understand that.
Next thing, your characters are pretty inconsistent. One minute they're just stick figures with heads, the next, they're people with detailed faces next to the screen. When their mouths move, they look like some sort of monkey because their chins don't even move. I didn't know whether he was trying to talk or clear something out of the front of his teeth. The backgrounds look decent at sometimes and rushed at others. If you're going to spend time on the backgrounds, spend time on making the characters in front of them as well.
Also, if you want to make it clear to people how much time it took you to make the first shot, that basically tells them that you took way less time on the other shots, which is obvious when watching.
I'm not going to spend too much time commenting on the music because thats obviously how you envisioned it (at least I hope).
And I feel I must address what you commented on before about my music not being streamed. It actually is. It plays as an event because it's placed inside a movie clip so there wouldn't be any sound delay. That might just be something you don't pay attention to when making your movies (along with a few other things). But hey, it was for school and you just didn't have time.
However, the movie itself had potential. So did the story. But the apparent lack of effort just made me turn it off. You know what that's like. So I give you a 4.
Neon-Crepth responds:
yeah, i think you know the response to each of your comments. i either explained myself in other responses or things are just assumed when you know it was completed in about 2 good days work. and i didn't feel like getting a preloader cause its only like 700 kb. your comp's gotta be slow as shit to freeze up on this. and your movie did keep playing the music after i right clicked and stopped it.
but at least both of our movies have something in common, we both couldn't watch them all the way through... which says something about each flash doesn't it. i thank you for the 4! this really doesn't deserve that. its just for a chuckle.
Nice, haha
I laughed at the same parts I laughed at when you first showed me this...I like it, it's good artwork but at the same time it's pretty funny.
Yeah, so it's a really cool animation but like those other guys said, add a preloader. That way you can pick when to start the movie after it loads...I know NG has a big selection of free ones you can use.
The song fits perfectly...and nice vocals, lol. I look forward to working on that sea monster one...
-Exodus
Neon-Crepth responds:
haha, yeah i knida gave up on the 'making it serious' and just worked on some funny parts. i know, isn't stratovarius awesome, i got lucky and found that on my brother's itunes.
yeah man, the sea monster one will be awesome too, i was working on the vocals a while ago and they aren't matching. one will be distant and the other will be good quality. so we may have to redo them. to anyone who's reading this, the picture on my profile news thing is one of my summer projects and exodus will be helping me with vocals. be sure to check it out!
thanks again, exodus.
-crepth
you have got some talent
you have some real talent all it takes is a bit of practise and soon you will have really good looking flash
i hope to see more work
Neon-Crepth responds:
Thank you so much! this is really the confidence boost i needed. i will have at least 2 projects that i'll do over the summer. The third one i dunno. So maybe you'd enjoy those^^
ill swing by your page.