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Sitcom - pilot (revised)

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Author Comments

I revised and refined the pilot a little.

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Hmm, it was a bit short.

Some of this wasn't too bad and it had some fairly alright jokes in it, but just as soon as the not too bad stuff started happening you just ended it, which was really dissapointing, it would have been much nicer if this had been longer. It played like a really corny sitcom, I'm not sure if that's what you intended or not, if it was well done, if it wasn't then this was a fairly poor job. The voices sound was of a poor quality and at times it was hard to understand, the robot in particular. I'm assuming that this was only short due to the fact that this was a pilot, so I'll go watch the other two now, I've already seen Episode 1 though, I recall watching it a few years back and I believe I also reviewed it.

Peace Out, Afro Stud

1/5

Good effort

It was an okay submission, a few points:

Art/Animation - The artwork was pretty good actually, however the animation let it down a bit, the bouncing droid bits were a bit too 'floatey', ie they didn't bounce very realistically because they were too slow.

Sound - The main failing, the recording quality is poor and the characters could be voice acted with a bit more emotion behind them rather than seeming lifeless (the two human ones at least!). You can solve recording problems by getting a decent microphone, they're not really that expensive these days. The latter just requires practise so I won't hold it against you much.
The robot voice though is not very good, it would be better if you stuck with something less synthetic, ie mainly voice acted but with more of a robotic hint to it, it should be fairly clear from the artwork if a robot is talking or not anyway :)

Style/Humour - It was a little bit funny, though it could have been better, it has potential though, best thing is to bounce ideas off of a friend or group of friends, you find that this inevitably results in some hilarious things being said which you could use.

to the last person

how the fuck could that be a game, dumbshit?

meh

it was alright, but i think it would've done better as a game, much better.

Sorry...

I just didnt really like it, i dont know why...hmm....well other people did...so just ignore me...

Devil

thistler responds:

thats cool.. it is a little strange :)

Credits & Info

Views
5,029
Faves:
3
Votes
23
Score
3.19 / 5.00

Uploaded
Aug 2, 2000
1:52 PM EDT