its ok but you should add people talking in there.
I like it so far. I like how it's unique in its movement of still life. If any of that makes any sense. I can't wait to view the other entries!
Not really that good a hook.
Very pretty, but you kinda need to start the story of a bit quicker in something that short. I didn't mind the speed of the text, I got is all pretty quick. I just think that there wasn't enough in that to keep people coming back to it.
Good story, i would like to see more. But i do hope you realise that you are not fooling anyone by taking the names "Albion and Thamesis", from Fable and FF12. Come up with your own names.
weird...weird but brilliant.
its so simple.
i love it.
you got a work of art right there, buddy.
keep up the good work.