i think this is ok but it needs more detail
its a ok i giving it a 10
This has the potential for the Big Screen
Im serious, you have an amazing story here. I wouldnt mind if you animated it and hosted it here, so I could veiw this incredible script for free, but this seriously has the potential for a major motion picture, if you want to do the thing justice. I wish I was half as good of a wrighter as you, but none of my works end up seeming original. You can always find something like it. HOOOOWEVER, I am working on something called The Circuit. It seems to have the potential for an original story, but I keep trying to weedle in my favorite characters, who, quite frankly, are not very original. Sure, I've worked hard on their personalities, but it's a hard pill to swallow, the fact that they wont fit in. Meh. You've got something great here, I can tell you that.
I don't know what your going for but if your ever gonna make this into a movie than this is about as close to perfect as anyone could ask for.
Awesome! I fucking love it. Also...
This is the single greatest "dress-up" flash I have ever come across. It has a story, it has unique clothing and almost all possible combinations of clothing work when put together! Awesome! I love it. I fucking love it.
Also, I just thought I'd tell you, there's a spelling error on the second page of the "What is Adeshra?" thing, the first being what you see when entering that area. You put the typo "wriitng", which I assume is "writing".
"To me, wriitng a good story is an evolutionary task."
This game has amazing art and equally amazing music. You did a great job! Are you making just a video or are you going to do a comic too? I hope you come up with either soon i cant wait to see it!